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    Concious Me posted an update 4 years, 9 months ago

    So this is the time that i will try to open myself. I have been dying inside from last so many months. Little bit of history.
    I am 21 year old from India. I got into the best engineering college of my country. My life was so good. I never compared my life with others. I was in love with one girl. We kinda got into relationship in my 2nd year. At the same time i started lossing my hairs but it was not that serious at that time. things were going up and down but i was fine. I didnt concentrated on my studies in college. I got fat and fat. So now when my final year came, i saw my love geting away from me. I was ok back then. then came placements just before last semester of my college. I was single during that time. It was diffivult and stressful time. And because i didnt studied properly through my college i got into okish country which i felt was much below my IQ. Then in last semester suddenly on the day of valentines i realised my love is in relationship with someone and is going to spend her time with that other person. That hit me so hard. I finally realised what had happend. I was geting anexiety attacks. I was depressed. I was sad. I introspected and found that i am fat. i am not having that good job. i dont have my love with me at this time. My confidence completely shattered. I kept geting more and more depressed. Then i joined gym and started loosing weight and tried to keep myself bussy. Gym really worked for me in loosing significant weight but i was said. Then at the same time i realized that i have again started loosing hair my be because of all that stress. And now this new situation has left me even more less confident about myself.
    I am out of college now and started with my job. I am loosing hair every day and every day when i bath and see my hair i get sad. I keep thinking about them about for 80 % of day. I feel concious most of the time. I see people staring at my head. I dont want to meet my old friends and relatives as they will notice my hair loss and will pass comment and i am just scared. I just want to go away from everyone where i can build my confidence from scratch.
    I dont feel confident about myself anytime other than may be for brain. I just dont have confidence to approach any girl as i feel everyone will judge me for my hairs and i will get even more hurt.
    I feel so much alone and empty and i just keep crying to myself sometime.
    This whole sequence of events has taken a lot out of me
    Please help someone.
    This is first time i am opening to anyone
    I cant share with anyone else
    My love is no more with me
    I dont want my family to know i am so much stressed.
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      Oli replied 4 years, 9 months ago

      You are such a fantastic person who truly deserves all the happiness in the world @vsg2608, do take care of yourself and surround yourself with positivity, you will find true love and you will make all your dreams come true, your path through life will be successful and positive, remember to always smile brightly, hold your head up high and believe in yourself, your future will be so fantastic, keep going forward with confidence and never give up, you can do it, inbox me anytime if you want to chat or vent, stay strong, you are never alone :) (hugs)