I have had a fabulous (sarcasm) day, thanks for asking.

I tried your suggestion of talking to my ex (who broke up with me, for those who don’t know), @oliver. I waited for him at the corner where I used to, and when he came by I walked next to him. It started with small talk that quickly degraded.

Me: How are you?
Him: Fine, what about you?
Me: (thinking) I’m doing really sh*tty but if I tell him that, he might think I’m trying to guilt him for breaking up with me. I know he’ll catch it if I lie… so I’ll lie and leave it up to him whether or not to point it out… I’m fine.
*We pause our conversation to go down a flight of stairs*
Him: *Draws out pause* … You know I know that’s bullsh*t, right?
Me: Yeah, but we can’t have that conversation anymore. (The reason for this being that he’s not dating me anymore. I can’t trust him the same way. I can’t confide in him the same way. It’s not the same.)
And then we split off to go to our separate classes. Him feeling… I don’t even know, but I know my shattered heart just broke more.

Then, an hour later, someone in PE calls me a thot when he steals the ball from me. To me, that practically screams of a lack of respect, as well as his low opinion of me.

Here is the type of person I am. I believe that if I have to attract someone with my body, it’s the wrong person for me. I wear long sleeves, turtlenecks, and I never show cleavage. When in swim unit, I wear a one-piece when the other girls wear bikinis. I wear jeans instead of short-shorts because I don’t people seeing my a$$, unlike the other girls. I have never had sex, never given a BJ, never let anyone get past second base. I also try to help others whenever I can. When kids in class are struggling, I tutor them. One of those kids was the one who called me a thot. He was struggling in science about four years back, and I spent three weeks meeting him for lunch and helping him fix his grade. Did it mean nothing?

Does no one respect or care about me?