This site needs an app. It has been way too long since I posted, but I am not a fan of using websites on mobile devices. I have not had a very good year and I seem to be regressing right now. I had a meltdown after therapy yesterday. Thankfully my mom was able to talk me through it, but I’m still feeling horrible. Of course it doesn’t help that I woke up today with a massive headache. I don’t feel up to taking care of C, which I don’t have a choice since he is my kid and mom and Doug are their Thursday night dinners with his parents. Speaking of, his mom is not doing well. Her Parkinson’s is progressing rapidly. She was sent to the hospital last week because they thought she had a heart attack. After several tests they sent her home because nothing registered so we don’t know what really happened. She is so weak she cannot stand on her own. She can’t remember and she is hallucinating horribly. It is heartbreaking.
I haven’t been getting any sleep because of the dogs, or my cat, or the dog across the street who get left out almost 24/7, or C who is up a lot during the night. My therapist actually seems concerned about my lack of sleep. Not really sure why, since I’ve been through insomniac periods and no one batted an eye. I’m just frustrated and so overwhelmed by the depression and my misophonia. The misophonia is going to be the death of me. I have never in my life wished so much that I was deaf. And I feel horrible for that because I know there are deaf people who would love to be able to hear. I hate noise so much. I legit want a perfectly soundproof room just for me. I have been in one when we had to have C’s ears tested and it was glorious.
C is also in therapy now. He is on his third therapist since the turnover rate at the agency is ridiculous. I like his last one, but I’m don’t really care for this one. He loves her though; which is why I haven’t said anything. I want him to be comfortable with whomever he sees but there is no communication there. I don’t even know if she knows what his diagnoses is.
This is probably incredibly long. I will try to check back soon.