Good point, I agree (And well explained) @seagoatsyntax What i’m curious after reading this is (per my interpretation)… you did suggest listeners on what ’NOT’ to do. Would you have some thoughts on what a ’listener’ should rather do instead? That would be super helpful, thank you.
It is difficult to be positive when things seem hard @seagoatsyntax, we need to find various ways of helping each other come through tough times, in the end, it’s about making someone feel good, upbeat and brighter about the road ahead (hugs)
oh wow im guilty of doing the comparing thing sometimes :\ i also would like to know what you think is a better way to approach someone experiencing situation similar to yours? whatever situation youre in i hope you will find a way to overcome it!
thank you @aireens@oliver@sigmasuccour for the positive comments ! I was just venting a little but I’m glad some people have been able to build off it (its wasn’t meant to be a suggestion or anything like that, just something I felt a lot of people have come across and not been able to speak about, but I’m glad some have taken an interest) !! Its difficult to remember not to sell ourselves out in some way or another, especially when you already consider yourself to be of little value which makes it SO EASY to do… admitting a mental illness is difficult, and confronting one even more so, but also keeping in mind depression/anxiety and other debilitating mental illnesses already cause negative thoughts…. If you believe your an asshole, unworthy of kinship, and vent to someone about your self-sabotaging thoughts only to have it regurgitated back at you, is kinda a slap in the face…. like, your not admitting the emotion but adding to it. We know its our mentality, and thats (more often than not) the problem. Being a good listener is INCREDIBLY difficult – from personal experience – but already providing a framework to hang emotions up as an excuse rather than a thought, already assures that person as to why their mentality is a lability. Whenever people vent to me about how awful the day was, or how hard their job was, I dont like to add to that list… positivity does aid a situation but it certainly doesn’t carry it; some from of understanding is always better than pity. For example, if someones carrying a set of heavy boxes, only to turn to you and say, ”these boxes are pretty heavy.” you wouldn’t reply ”thats only because you /think your weak!” you’d (hopefully lol) shoulder the burden. So in short, reassurance and discussions (!!!) are always better than a simple pat on the back, which only distracts from the core issue rather than solving it… It always good to remember that pain is relative; but that being said, listeners need to look after themselves too, you dont always need to be the shoulder to cry on, and its okay to admit you need help dealing with emotions… I’m really glad this is a discussion, I just hope I’ve explained it well enough ٩(๑`^´๑)۶ if yall have any tips to add, pls share !!
Familiar Face1626QA Reputation88Mood : Exhausted
Good point, I agree (And well explained) @seagoatsyntax
What i’m curious after reading this is (per my interpretation)… you did suggest listeners on what ’NOT’ to do. Would you have some thoughts on what a ’listener’ should rather do instead? That would be super helpful, thank you.
It is difficult to be positive when things seem hard @seagoatsyntax, we need to find various ways of helping each other come through tough times, in the end, it’s about making someone feel good, upbeat and brighter about the road ahead
(hugs)
oh wow im guilty of doing the comparing thing sometimes :\ i also would like to know what you think is a better way to approach someone experiencing situation similar to yours?
whatever situation youre in i hope you will find a way to overcome it!
thank you @aireens @oliver @sigmasuccour for the positive comments ! I was just venting a little but I’m glad some people have been able to build off it (its wasn’t meant to be a suggestion or anything like that, just something I felt a lot of people have come across and not been able to speak about, but I’m glad some have taken an interest) !! Its difficult to remember not to sell ourselves out in some way or another, especially when you already consider yourself to be of little value which makes it SO EASY to do… admitting a mental illness is difficult, and confronting one even more so, but also keeping in mind depression/anxiety and other debilitating mental illnesses already cause negative thoughts…. If you believe your an asshole, unworthy of kinship, and vent to someone about your self-sabotaging thoughts only to have it regurgitated back at you, is kinda a slap in the face…. like, your not admitting the emotion but adding to it. We know its our mentality, and thats (more often than not) the problem. Being a good listener is INCREDIBLY difficult – from personal experience – but already providing a framework to hang emotions up as an excuse rather than a thought, already assures that person as to why their mentality is a lability. Whenever people vent to me about how awful the day was, or how hard their job was, I dont like to add to that list… positivity does aid a situation but it certainly doesn’t carry it; some from of understanding is always better than pity. For example, if someones carrying a set of heavy boxes, only to turn to you and say, ”these boxes are pretty heavy.” you wouldn’t reply ”thats only because you /think your weak!” you’d (hopefully lol) shoulder the burden.
So in short, reassurance and discussions (!!!) are always better than a simple pat on the back, which only distracts from the core issue rather than solving it… It always good to remember that pain is relative; but that being said, listeners need to look after themselves too, you dont always need to be the shoulder to cry on, and its okay to admit you need help dealing with emotions… I’m really glad this is a discussion, I just hope I’ve explained it well enough ٩(๑`^´๑)۶
if yall have any tips to add, pls share !!