Unbelievable, those are more exact words than the words I was going to post right now!
I understand how hard and frustrating this is, and how impossible is to get a solution near.
Maybe we all here can find it! I really hope so!
If you want to talk about this, send me a Priv Message. Be as strong as you can be!

You are not a failure @99ellen, please don’t think like that Elly, you are such a beautiful and remarkable person who deserves all the love and happiness in the world, you deserve to be appreciated and valued as you are so wonderful hun, don’t let anything bring you down, focus on all the good things in your life, you are a survivor and warrior who never gives up, great things will happen to you Elly, you can do this, so much light will come into your life, believe in yourself and keep going forward with confidence and clarity, there is always hope hun, you have so much strength in you and you are never alone, I’ll always be here if you ever need someone, message me anytime if you want, my inbox is always open (hugs)