So I should be starting back at college today, but at home I am just at home feeling some what paralysed by fear. Its like this all or nothing thing, I want to go in, but I want to be able to prove to everyone that I am capable of doing my work (that I should have done over the holidays but haven’t) and so its like I’ll have to admit defeat if I do. And I just feel down today so I worry that I won’t cope with being able to mask my true feeling like I usually would. As well as other stresses. But now I feel like such a bum. And its also like how I read in ’the perks of being a wallflower’ I also feel like a fake for secretly trying to fix my life back together without anyone’s knowledge. Any one else just shut them selves away like me?