When he’s with me and we meet one of his friend, he never introduces me, and acts like we are not a couple. The other day we were waiting for the bus, and a friend arrived. He started chatting, then when we had to go he greets me with an handshake -.- I know that he means well and that he’s like this, he’s clumsy and doesn’t always think through, but after 2 years together he could be a little warmer… Usually I smile and let go, but sometimes I get angry and sad because it seems like he’s ashamed of me or being around with me.
Ok, reasonable to be bothered. Yes, tell him how it bothers you, don’t call him an asshole, avoid ”you are this and this”, and work rather with ”when you do/don’t X, I feel Y” , he can’t argue how you feel.
In a way, I think it would be cool to just introduce yourself like ”I’m Esseara, [boyfriend name]’s girlfriend”. Would that create a lot of tension between you two? Does he have to make it official himself? I hope he fixes this without you having to tell him ”the next time you don’t introduce me, I will introduce myself like that” (setting a boundary [I'm not ok with being treated like a random bystander] and the consequence of him breaking it [I will pick up your slack]).
Well, I thought to introduce myself but it seems like I’m going out of boundary. This is either because the case not happens so often, and because for me it’s natural to introduce him to someone he doesn’t know. I don’t have a ’stranger strategy’ I think I’ll try, I have no idea how he’s gonna react, probably not so bad. FYI later, when I asked him – with a smile and without calling him an asshole – about his strange behaviour, he said that on the bus he told his friend that I was his girlfriend. I don’t know if it’s true (so twisted, why telling him later and not introducing me then?), but again, I would really like him to relax and feel comfortable when I’m around and there’s other people.
Ok, that’s good, shows he has no problems saying it, eventually. I hope you two figure it out in the next encounters. But, with just your name, or your title too, you can always introduce yourself to avoid standing awkwardly, feeling left out.
Passing Stranger385QA Reputation113Mood : Sad
Though he can sometimes be an asshole, you NEVER have to put up with it. It’s great how that works out.
So I should tell him that he’s an asshole and explain why?
Tell us first, then we’ll tell you if it’s the case.
When he’s with me and we meet one of his friend, he never introduces me, and acts like we are not a couple. The other day we were waiting for the bus, and a friend arrived. He started chatting, then when we had to go he greets me with an handshake -.-
I know that he means well and that he’s like this, he’s clumsy and doesn’t always think through, but after 2 years together he could be a little warmer…
Usually I smile and let go, but sometimes I get angry and sad because it seems like he’s ashamed of me or being around with me.
Ok, reasonable to be bothered. Yes, tell him how it bothers you, don’t call him an asshole, avoid ”you are this and this”, and work rather with ”when you do/don’t X, I feel Y” , he can’t argue how you feel.
In a way, I think it would be cool to just introduce yourself like ”I’m Esseara, [boyfriend name]’s girlfriend”. Would that create a lot of tension between you two? Does he have to make it official himself? I hope he fixes this without you having to tell him ”the next time you don’t introduce me, I will introduce myself like that” (setting a boundary [I'm not ok with being treated like a random bystander] and the consequence of him breaking it [I will pick up your slack]).
Well, I thought to introduce myself but it seems like I’m going out of boundary. This is either because the case not happens so often, and because for me it’s natural to introduce him to someone he doesn’t know. I don’t have a ’stranger strategy’
I think I’ll try, I have no idea how he’s gonna react, probably not so bad. FYI later, when I asked him – with a smile and without calling him an asshole – about his strange behaviour, he said that on the bus he told his friend that I was his girlfriend. I don’t know if it’s true (so twisted, why telling him later and not introducing me then?), but again, I would really like him to relax and feel comfortable when I’m around and there’s other people.
Ok, that’s good, shows he has no problems saying it, eventually. I hope you two figure it out in the next encounters. But, with just your name, or your title too, you can always introduce yourself to avoid standing awkwardly, feeling left out.
Yes, that’s good advice… Thanks so much for listening