Dear Nolan,
I cant believe it…You where the first boy I fell so hard in love with, and im still trying to understand how it happened. I remember when you snapchatted me, not telling me who you where, so I had to guess..I guess that’s what grabbed my attention to you. When I found out who you where I was extatic, because ive always wondered about you. As we talked I grew closer to you and we connected. You where the closest thing to perfect, and we related in everyway. I fell in love with you. You took my anxiety away, and you loved me. We had more then everything in common, and you made me feel better when times where rough better then anyone else could have. I was so convinced you felt the same way I did….I lit up every time I saw you, I wanted to spend all my time with you…you made me feel…at home. I remember you telling me how happy you felt with me, and the way my name spilled out of your mouth left me speechless. Until he day you told me that it wasnt gonna work and that you never liked me, you just didnt wanna reject me in the first place…then it all made sense, why you said some of the things you did, why you seemed distant…it all made sense. I sat there speechless and you begged me to talk to you, when I had no words to say. But it didnt sink in until a month later..when I asked myself why I didnt have my wall up..why I didnt think about your feelings..why you didnt just tell me.
Nolan, I still think about you more then you ever know…and for the first time I can finally write heartbreak songs out of experience.
I would do anything to get you back, but you dont want me.
And if being without me makes you happy,
Im okay with that.
I miss you.
Always yours,
Mariah.