 Newbie
0 QA Reputation0 | Deleted User said 10 years, 9 months ago: From Mysterium: “Nobody cares about you because you are not allowing them to care, or you are unable to comprehend why or how someone could possibly care for you…. I can say that I care, others here can say that they care, but there is little to no point because you won’t believe it – it is almost as though you can’t comprehend the idea of being cared for and that breaks my heart.” I don’t understand how I don’t let anyone care about me. Maybe someone can explain that to me. But, yes, I find it hard to believe anyone would care, because if they do it’s because they want something from me. If no one’s cared before and all of sudden someone does, why? I know I am severely damaged goods, and I acknowledge I’m on high alert all the time. It’s like having air raid drills all the time, every single day. | |
 Newbie
0 QA Reputation0 | Deleted User said 10 years, 9 months ago: Thats pretty nice. Mysterium, is that a book? | |
Newbie
0 QA Reputation0 | Deleted User said 10 years, 9 months ago: No she’s the user that said these words. | |
Newbie
0 QA Reputation0 | Deleted User said 10 years, 9 months ago: Interesting, she does have a point. Yes, anyone can say that they care. I’ll tell you how you can tell if someone actually cares; it is when you notice that they are actually talking to you, asking questions, and sacrificing their own personal time to actually communicate with you. | |
Newbie
0 QA Reputation0 | Deleted User said 10 years, 9 months ago: OK thank you for that insight. But, still, I don’t understand how I don’t let anyone care. | |
Newbie
0 QA Reputation0 | Deleted User said 10 years, 9 months ago: Afraid of being hurt and let down. | |
Newbie
0 QA Reputation0 | Deleted User said 10 years, 9 months ago: Those are my fears, but I don’t think I put a disclaimer saying “don’t approach me!” Thanks for replying. | |
 Passing Stranger
682 QA Reputation29 | Vollie said 10 years, 9 months ago: I think she means that when someone says they care about you and they mean it, you don’t believe them. Belief is a highly subjective and delicate thing. There are multiple studies in which case a placebo of belief causes someone to feel a certain way. Imagine if a close friend died. Now you’re sad. But they didn’t really die, you’re simply imagining it. She’s saying that since you don’t believe them, their care sort of reflects back towards them. It’s not doing you any good and it’s certainly not making them feel better. You have to open up and realize that people are not lying, that you are lovable, and that you can be cared for. Everyone can. *hugs* | |
Newbie
0 QA Reputation0 | Deleted User said 10 years, 9 months ago: I wasn’t too sure whether or not to respond but perhaps I should, given those were my words. I still stand by them, as from what you say it is those fears that are keeping you from allowing yourself to believe others care for you, but only you can really understand why you don’t allow that. It’s perfectly okay to have fears, but it seems those two in particular are affecting the way you live your life so I’d be tempted to say they’re more of a phobia. You can alter that if you want to, but generally the best way to conquer it is to face it head on. The people from your past who only claimed to care because they wanted something are not the people in your future – so you kind of have a choice between allowing things to remain as they are or focus on figuring out why you think the way that you do. | |
Newbie
0 QA Reputation0 | Deleted User said 10 years, 9 months ago: I believe I think the way I do to: A) protect myself from more hurt, but I think mostly because of B) I’m used to it. I’ve been in trench warfare for so long that it’s all I understand. I don’t know what else to say. | |
 Familiar Face
4375 QA Reputation1162 | fark said 10 years, 9 months ago: I think you’ll eventually get to the place where you accept someone to care for you. I feel like you’ll find a woman that will care for you no matter what, so much so that you can’t comprehend it but don’t fight it because she’s relentless and shows love for you no matter how much you push her away. But she’ll only come when you’re ready to let something like that happen to you, | |
 Familiar Face
1816 QA Reputation88 | Diana said 10 years, 9 months ago: Actually, that sounds rather nice to me. She sounds like she cares about you. I believe I understand what she means. Sometimes, if for some reason you really can’t believe that anyone would care about you or that you’re worthy, you can unconsciously act in such a way as to reject people’s gestures and feelings which prove otherwise, that you are indeed loved and lovable. It happens to a lot of people, so you’re not alone in this. It could be as simple as dismissing all the compliments you receive or as complex of only ever wanting the attention of people who don’t seem to like you and not paying attention who those who do want your company, or you might be so dismissive of yourself that it can tire out the people who see your good qualities as obvious. It’s self-sabotage. The mere fact that you didn’t understand what Mysterium meant shows that it’s not conscious and it’s not something to be blamed for or anything, anyway. It’s just how you know not to get hurt. If it’s true at all, because anyone could be wrong about you, but that’s what I’d take these words to mean, if they were addressed to me. Hope that helps. | |
Newbie
0 QA Reputation0 | Deleted User said 10 years, 9 months ago: @fark I’m still waiting for that day to happen that I actually meet a woman, but that’s another topic… Oh, and I don’t know how or when I’ll be ready. @dianatapsy It must be an unconscious reaction on my part, because I don’t know how I do it or shoot people down. But thanks for explaining. | |
Familiar Face
1816 QA Reputation88 | Diana said 10 years, 9 months ago: Well, do any of the examples in my explanation sound like you at all? Or is it something else? Or maybe do you feel close enough to others (those who you choose to let close to you of course) and welcome their appreciation? | |
 Newbie
0 QA Reputation0 | Deleted User said 10 years, 9 months ago: you do know nothing in the world comes for free..everyone has their price/needs..and i wouldnt let that kids thoughts affect you too much..
you know MAX..the thing is there are a million of guys out there who have been in your position at one point in their life..either to choose to become someones dog at work etc/ continue living with their pain,or do something about their life..i chose the latter..
its fucking awesome your self aware..and i think you have been asking WHYs? for way too long and its time to go do something with the time youve got left..forget the past think that was a loser MAX ..fuck the people who say you cant change, coz they are the ones who will never change themselves..you want people like yourself, time to start looking, you will see there are a small percentage of people with your exact mindset leading amazing lives, and i mean sick lives, coz they know how the world works and exploit it or use it to their benefit, become a leader, a boss has no friends mate, why dont you yet?! | |
