Alexandria said 8 years, 7 months ago:

If my eyes get wet, it’s only for the man that I thought he was. But I can’t cry for him like I used to. Not knowing that every tear that I gave him meant nothing to him. I never thought I could ever meet someone so cold and so manipulative. All of these lies went on and on… I knew that he was a good liar, but I never wanted to believe that he could be unfaithful to me. He told me that he loved me. He asked me to marry him. He told me that I was special. I did things to myself all because I trusted him. But all the while, he uttered these same words into another girl’s ears. Feels like I fell in love with a robot. I want to believe him. I want to trust him, but the odds are just so stacked up against him. There’s no more room for doubt, but even then I gave him the chance to clear the air. But he bailed. He couldn’t talk to the both of us at the same time. He couldn’t send me the screenshots of his texts with her, just after I pressed him for pictures, all because he said he can’t use data. According to him, he wouldn’t give me any evidence because he was already done with me. Why? Because I wasn’t content? Because I “snooped” by asking his “friend” whether or not they dated? Your friends are not your private property… I have the right to talk to his friends, or whatever he likes to call them. Same with looking at his Facebook public profile…

I remember the exact words he once told me: “Your curiosity is going to ruin us.” I’m sorry to say that my curiosity didn’t ruin us… His lies did, time and time again. She had the text messages. She had the screenshots. She had the time stamps. She knew things about him that she shouldn’t have known if she were just a friend, if she were just his “past,” someone he just messed around with. (For someone I just met, she seemed to care a shitload more about me than this piece of shit ever did. Hell, she stuck to my side listening to me bitch for hours as I also ask her for more evidence and made her show me her fucking computer screen; she did everything I asked her to right there and then. But the love of my life couldn’t even do the same for me. The love of my life couldn’t even bother to give me reasons why he did what he did, just gave me more guilt-tripping bullshit. “The cards are in your hands.” “Sorry I’m not your standard.” “You weren’t me at the time. Not every situation needs to be handled your way.” “Nothing to do with you. Had my reasons.” “If this is your fight, it’s yours.” “You think you know everything.” “Who the hell are you to ask me why I messed with someone and demand my reason? Like you know, so just back the hell off me.” How sketchy is that.) And he didn’t have to tell her that I was just a friend… There was no reason for him to do that. How the fuck could he always accuse me of talking to guys after we hang up the phone, when he’d been doing the exact same thing to me, and it wasn’t even just talking… he was fucking jacking off to and with another girl, right after he would tell me he loves me. I asked her when they would usually talk… 12-1 am for him. And when did I get to talk to him? 10-11 pm. I didn’t even have to tell her when he and I talked. His schedule was constantly changing anyway. He came home later and later, or at least that’s what he made both of us believe. First dating him, we could chat by 6 pm, then it became 7, then it became 8, then it became 9, then it became 10. And it was the same routine for me and her. He would “fall asleep” on us while he’s lying down and talking to us. He would go to the bathroom and disappear for a fucking hour. We would both talk for roughly two hours with him every night. Now I can’t help but fucking wonder if there were other girls. Just looking at the number of his Skype contacts, mathematically, it fits right in. 4 contacts. Girl #1, 6-8 pm. Girl #2, 8-10 pm. Girl #3, 10-12 pm. Girl #4, 12-2 am.

He held her on by a string, fading her out after he realized he didn’t want her anymore because he already had someone else, someone he thought was better, all after he told her that he loved her and that she was special. He didn’t even tell her to go when she said she wanted to leave him as he ignored her for days on end… all while knowing that he had me.

This is the man that I dreamed about for several nights. This is the man who would always praise himself for being “real.” This is the man that I was loyal to, the man that I refused to cheat on or lie to. I guess I was just his next victim. I thought I had the perfect man locked in for me. Someone who would always be honest with me and faithful to me, and love me and our children more than anything or anyone else in the world. There was nothing that I wasn’t willing to get past for him, as long as this stayed true.

You don’t just break up with someone because they’ve occasionally been unhappy, especially when they have reason to be unhappy. You talk it out. You don’t break up with the woman you ask to marry just because she “snooped” (although to be fair, I still don’t really consider this snooping). You fucking kept me on a string like you did with her. You’re a goddamn king, right? And we were just your fucking concubines, all taught to just be content. She fucking offered to leave as you ignored her more and more, and you still couldn’t even let her off the string. Still couldn’t say that you didn’t want her. She told you that she won’t stay where she isn’t wanted. And you stopped her, saying that you never said you didn’t want her, but that she shouldn’t stay where she doesn’t want to be. You put the cards in her hands, just as you have always done with me, because you wanted her to be the one to put all of the work in, while all you did was flock to the prettiest and/or easiest ones. If you could keep a concubine for free, you would, and that’s what you did, you fucking asshole. How could you let her believe that you still wanted her, when you’ve repeatedly expressed how repulsive you think she is behind her back…? How could you have phone sex with a girl you thought was ugly? Then what the fuck was I to you? The only reason why my words don’t hurt you is because you’re a fucking sociopath… Life just feels stagnant right now…

Michael said 8 years, 7 months ago:

@jennyburer I’m really saddened to read something like this, first off, you have my heartfelt condolences for the horrible lie you’ve been having to put up with. No one deserves what you and the other person went through, cheaters are generally cold and extremely manipulative and you can not blame yourself at all for not willingly seeing it. You are not at fault here.

Secondly, you have every right to be angry, confused, sad, lost and or exhausted, you physically and emotionally invested yourself completely for someone that you thought was real but sadly, he was not. The void left behind has to be really hard to cope with, but, I want you to know that you’re in the right place, there are people here who may have never met you, nor spoken to you and maybe they don’t know a single thing about you but they really do care for you. Stay strong my friend.

There’s a positive to all this, the positive is that you’re no longer with him and that there’s chances for you to meet someone new, someone real, someone that will treat you better and care for every second of your life, someone that won’t mind showing you their messages and their pictures because they understand what you’ve gone through, they understand that for you to trust again – they are going to need to be an open book and you know what? someone real won’t have that problem.

I wish you the very best in life, if you ever need support from anyone here, including myself, just ask. We’re all happy to be there for someone in need.

Alexandria said 8 years, 7 months ago:

@michaeluk Thank you so much for your kind words. They really mean a lot to me.

Michael said 8 years, 7 months ago:

@jennyburer I’m glad my words could help, even if only a little. Please don’t hesitate to drop me a private message if you ever need to talk or just someone to really listen. This place for the majority has a fantastic community and they mostly just want to help.
Take care.

AnnieH said 8 years, 7 months ago:

Honey the world is full of assholes, but don’t despair there are some good guys out there too!

elizabethfke12 said 8 years, 7 months ago:

@Alexandria.. omG.. its soooo similar to wat im going thru.. u r truthful and loyal.. and u deserve better. remember that..I dunno what else to say cos im going thru the same feelings of hurt and betrayal.. but remember im here with u..