daksinakali said 9 years, 8 months ago:

I’m nearly 34 and I want a reset. I’ve never been able to hang on to a friendship because every few years I fall into this pit of depression and refuse to see anyone, send emails, pick up the phone or anything. I’ve had different friends over the years but they always came unstuck during my worst episodes.

I don’t know how to change this and part of me feels like its too late. Most people say their best friends were people they knew in childhood or college. I feel like my only friend is my husband and I can’t expect him to be there for me 24/7. I am an only child of working parents so I should be used to being alone but I don’t think I ever got around to learning that skill.

I don’t even know if I am asking a question or talking to myself as usual.

Mamelon said 9 years, 8 months ago:

I want a reset button too. I feel as though I have gotten into this slump where I can’t get myself to do anything, and I hate myself for it. I want to be creative and productive and fun, but I can’t be. I feel like if I got a chance to be someone else I could have the personality I want. All I do is annoy my friends and annoy myself.

daksinakali said 9 years, 8 months ago:

I feel you @mamelon

Worst part is knowing how I can be when I’m in full on productive, kick ass mode. I was diagnosed with bipolar for this reason. Personally, I prefer myself “high” because while I do make some bad choices I have the guts to stick by them and follow through because I have energy.

Things with me are often extreme. Rare times that I feel good, I am the life of the party and employee of the year. Most of the time though, I’m a miserable wretch who can barely manage to leave the house.

sarah-the-crohnie said 9 years, 8 months ago:

i want a reset button too…

Swifting said 9 years, 8 months ago:

It is never too late to make a change in your life.

Join a book club, volunteer somewhere, and get out of the house.

You can’t have a redo but you can start again. Don’t let your life lose momentum.

Mamelon said 9 years, 8 months ago:

@daksinakali
I know what you mean. If only it were easy to be enthusiastic and proactive without the manic episode