Diana said 10 years, 10 months ago:

Now I feel the need for more information to understand What kinds of details do you ask? I’ve also got teenage venters and I only asked details about the problem they talked about. If it was deeply personal and intimate … I was tactful any way I could. For example, talking to a venter about a hypothetical situation she asked about for a few minutes before gently asking if it had to do with her or someone she knew (it was easy to tell, but I find not getting into it too suddenly can help). On the other hand, some useful questions that may need to be asked could still feel like a lot to the venter no matter how tactful you are. Unlike the advantages of a face to face conversation from which most people wouldn’t up and run away, on an anonymous online chat it’s so easy to disconnect.

On the other hand, I think a much younger listener would be more difficult for me to deal with (if I logged in as a venter) than a much younger venter. You’ve been there, at their age, had different experiences but at least you have a basic understanding of what that age is like and you can build the details you’re given upon that.

Diana said 10 years, 10 months ago:

Mark, I know there are some really bright, insightful teens. I don’t consider age to be a sign of emotional maturity or intelligence. I was referring to needing to talk to someone about certain age-related issues that someone much younger likely has no experience with – not that they can’t be good listeners, I’m sure they can, I was talking here just about my needs and comfort in very particular situations

blackdog said 10 years, 10 months ago:

I second @Diana about teens. There have been times when I have both listened to and vented at teens who were much wiser than many people my age and older. At the same time wisdom != experience.

Annie. said 10 years, 10 months ago:

I am 15 myself and sometimes when I vent I’m afraid that people (whom are usually much older than I am) won’t take me and my problems seriously, so, when people actually ask details about the problems it makes me feel better cause it seems like you’re paying attention and shows you care. Unless if you ask weird things even though we’re young most of us can detect weirdos and we would probably disconnect, but I’ve been here quite long (even though I just created this account today) and I’ve never come across anyone weird so yeah..

TurtleGirl20 said 10 years, 10 months ago:

Can’t this website make a change to where you choose the age of the person you speak to, like not a specific age but you know what I mean. It would help a lot more, because I am 19, and sometimes people do hanged on me because I’m not old enough. Just a suggestion.

Deleted User said 10 years, 5 months ago:

I have kind of the same problem. I once spent like an hour listening to marital problems and could actually give some advice that seemed to help and make sense.

And then through conversation it came out that I was (at that time) 22 – obviously I couldn’t possibly be helpful and that person disconnected. Seriously, 5 seconds ago she/he was more than happy to take my advice…

integrated yard said 10 years, 5 months ago:

Most of the venters I have had so far have been 19 or under and although I am only 23, until recently I had forgotten how much teenagers face and how crazy life can be in high school – definitely not an experience I would want to repeat again today.

Its amazing how many of these younger venters just need someone to listen, to love them, remind them how special they are, believe in them and care about what they have to say and how they feel – a lot of their ‘deeper’ issues I have realised, come back to these few things.