Cam said 9 years, 9 months ago:
Hi. I’m Cam. I’m 21. And I have severe anxiety. It has gotten to the point where even the smallest words, sights, or sounds can trigger a reaction that leaves me crippled in fear. In the most extreme cases I actually feel a physical pain from having so much fear thrust upon me at an instant. The anxiety threads out into depression, guilt, and sometimes anger. All of which is directed towards myself. I try to take control of my anxiety by telling myself that everything will be alright. That nothing is going to happen. But that reassurance never lasts long. It’s a small bridge leading from one attack to the next. I can’t remember a day where I haven’t had at least small amounts of anxiety hit me constantly throughout the day. Having the occasional bad episode. Or even the extreme at the rarest of times. And I absolutely hate it. I hate living in such fear of everything. Such of fear of what people might say or do. Or what might happen and how I can’t predict any of it. My anxiety normally goes hand in hand with guilt or depression which leaves me in a quivering mess. Normally leading to bimonthly fits of uncontrollable crying. Which I find actually tend to make me feel better. Once the feelings fade away. People I know try to relate to my anxiety. But don’t ever truly know how I feel. I often end up putting on a strong face and going on as if nothing’s wrong, which is why so many people tend to be so impressed by how well I react to situations. But they don’t know how damaging it is to me to have to keep this strong act up. I’m not saying I’m completely unhappy in my life. But I am nowhere near as happy as I can only wish I were.
I’m Cam. I’m 21. And I’m living with anxiety.
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