Tomorrow said 10 years, 8 months ago:

These techniques are used to build confidence, they might sound really silly and you’ll probably feel silly doing them. However, they’re psychologically proven to work if you keep at it. Your brain works like a computer. What information is put into it, is taken as a FACT. Not a suggestion, not a possibility, but a fact. For every negative input, you need 3 positive inputs to override it. And part of building confidence is having a lot of positive input. Try these activities below:

1. Write down at least 10 things about yourself that you like. The more you can write down, the better, but try for at least 10 things. Keep those things in your pocket, in your wallet, somewhere on you at all times. Maybe type it, print it and laminate a little card for your wallet. Then whenever you’re feeling a little down about yourself or uncertain or feeling you need some confidence… pull out the paper/card, and randomly read one of the things to yourself. Either out loud (which is better) or say it in your head. Then put it away and carry on with your day.

2. Every morning when you get up and go through your morning routine, take the time to stop in at the bathroom mirror. Look yourself in the eye and say something nice about yourself. ”You’re a smart guy” for example. To build self love which helps with confidence, tell yourself ”You’re not perfect AND I love you”. NO BUTS. Never any buts unless they’re butts you’re shaking on the dance floor.

3. In high traffic places in your home or at your desk at work, leave yourself notes. ”You’re awesome!” ”Nice hair, sexy!” ”You’ve got great taste.” ”You’re a wonderful friend” Whatever you want it to say. Just write nice stuff about yourself and to yourself and paste it around. Then when you’re walking to the fridge to get a drink stop and take the time to read the note to yourself. When you go to wash your hands at the sink, read your note. Brush your teeth, read a note.

4. Smile at people. They tend to smile back which helps boost your confidence. IF they don’t, shrug it off. You might feel compelled to go ”wow, I guess they don’t like me”. DON’T. Tell yourself ”wow, I guess they’re having a bad day, I feel sorry for them” and move on. Make it THEIR problem not yours. This allows you to maintain confidence and experience rejection as no big deal. The same policy works with dating.

5. Give compliments to others or express gratitude. Find something about the individual to say that is nice. They will reciprocate it with a thank you and might choose to strike up a conversation about the item. This can help you build your confidence by creating successful social interactions. You might say ”Your earrings are lovely, do they have any special meaning?” ”I love your new hairstyle, you look so [vibrant/radiant/elegant whatever], what inspired you to change it?”

6. Accept compliments! Yeah you might think you do but if you say things like ”oh it was no big deal”, ”it was nothing really”, “no problem, anyone could have done it”… you’re not accepting the compliment, you’re diminishing your value. Say ”Thank you! I’m happy to hear that my hard work paid off.” Or ”Thank you, I’m so glad you like it. I put a lot of effort into that.” You are accepting their compliment and acknowledging your strengths and openly admitting that you did a good job or that you’re really creative or extremely thoughtful. You’re allowing people to praise you and accepting and acknowledging your traits.

7. Before you do something important or before you go to work or whatever… take 2 minutes somewhere private. Then stand in a heroic kind of pose so that your body language is open. For example you might stand with your feet apart, hands on your hips, shoulders back, chest out, and chin up. Breathe deeply and remind yourself that you are fucking awesome. Do that for 2 minutes, then go do whatever you’re needing to do. It causes your testosterone to rise which in turn causes your body language to be broader and you to appear more confident, relaxed, and assured of yourself. Do this often and you’ll start to become more confident in your body language. When you interact, watch your body language. Don’t cross your arms over your chest or fold your shoulders more toward you and hunch over in your chair with your legs together. Keep your space ”open” and ”inviting”. This sends out a signal to others that you are approachable and confident. To learn more on body language and building confidence, check out this video.

8. Look people in the eye and acknowledge them. If you get in an elevator, make eye contact with at least one other person in it. Hold that for a second, smile and look away, keep your head up. When you talk to people, make eye contact frequently but don’t stare unless the person is deaf and then stare. Making eye contact demonstrates a lack of fear of the other individual. By not making eye contact, you set off signals that you have low self esteem, are easy pray for predators, and are fearful.

Doing these simple activities will help you build your confidence. Best of luck to you in all that you do! If you’d like to learn more about a tool that will also help you build confidence and be happier with your life, try my guide How-To: Get better, achieve goals, and live happier and longer.

Robin said 10 years, 7 months ago:

well thought out and nicely written :)

Deleted User said 9 years, 5 months ago:

this was really cute, i’ll use this :]