That Guy Over There said 9 years, 6 months ago:

I’m the kind of guy girls are told to stay away from. I’m possessive. I’m emotionally, and mentally abusive. I can freeze the most warm and innocent heart and shatter it. I leave scars that last from months to years on end. I have made someone fall for me, take their sacred virginity, and end things one week later. I have been in a back and forth relationship with someone only to make them beg for me again. I have gone out with two depressed girls at the same time, both of them knowing, and letting them sort out who keeps me.

I am the worst kind of guy.

I’ve been trying for a year now to get better; I stay away from relationships and focus on friendships instead. But, whenever I get anywhere near my last partner, the possessiveness likes to creep out even when I try my best to keep it under control.

I’m untrustworthy and evil incarnate in most people’s eyes.

I just want to fix myself and make friends that last forever.

Where do I go from here?

Jess said 9 years, 6 months ago:

From a females perspective I feel like you need to trust the person. Even the friend. I think you need to learn to take a step back and understand what you are doing and how it would make you feel if someone treated you that way. I used to be quite clingy, I learnt that when I started to feel this way the best option was to stop, take a step back and look at what I was making that person feel and imagine how I would feel if someone I cared about did that to me.
You can’t just fix yourself, sometimes you just need to understand what you are doing and notice when you do it, then you can learn to look at that action and try something else. It doesn’t happen overnight and takes time to become a habit, but it sounds like you already realise what you are doing isn’t working well for you or the people you try to form relationships with.
Remember to trust the other person, and try to see things from their perspective and if you can’t take a step away from things.

Jordan104 said 9 years, 6 months ago:

Even at times it’s helpful to take it in perspective, if you’re possessive, act like you’re not. Maybe it will decrease in time, it did for me. But for the abusive and non beneficial aspects of yourself that’s something you must think about, try to see your motives and actions through a lens, letting yourself feel how others would react or feel after your behaviour occurs. If you are really trying to amend your behaviour that will come in time, and by realising that is not who you are then you’re taking a big first step in the right direction. Take your time, make friends, make mistakes, do stupid things, it’s part of being young, and it’s the only way you’ll learn. If you’re not in a place to date then don’t. If you find it difficult to be around your ex perhaps avoid situations where you might be in close proximity. These are all parts of maturing as well!