Y Z N said 9 years, 6 months ago:

Seriously, I think about this all the time. When a girl sees me, what does she think about? Is it like it is shown in movies and shows about how their first thought is whether the guy is ugly or hot? Also, when a guy and a girl talk does she always have in her back of her head that he is trying to win her heart? To me from MY experience so far, I can say over 3/4th of the girls I spoken to thought I was hitting on them until I TOLD THEM that I am not trying to get into their pants -_- RIGHT AFTER I say that it seems like they become REALLY comfortable talking to me normally, why is that?

MichaelValentine said 9 years, 6 months ago:

Girls naturally believe men are only after one thing. The oven to put a bun into. They’re always cautious, always suspicious. Why do you think girls are always the best of friends with Gay men? Because they know those guys aren’t threats. And the unfortunate truth is that girls are almost always shallow during the first impression. They’ll love you for your personality only after they decide to give you the time of day depending on how cute or handsome you are. You could have the best mind out there but if you’re overweight or have ugly features most if not all of them will pass you by.

Redd said 9 years, 6 months ago:

Most of the girls I know just think of guys as other people. There’s no special category or special thoughts that occur to us when dealing with guys in particular. If you’re attractive and a guy, they’ll talk to their friends about it and giggle about you later. If you’re attractive and a girl, they’ll talk to their friends about it and gossip about you later. If you’re not attractive and of either gender, they’ll treat you like any other ordinary person and judge you based on how courteous and easy to talk to you are. But I guess that changes with culture. Where I live, boys and girls live together from when they’re 16 or 17 until they finish uni — we can’t exactly walk around distrusting the other sex all the time. It’d be so weird.

Deleted User said 9 years, 6 months ago:

Many girls’s thoughts and personalities vary. But from what I’ve seen, many girls look at guys as possible partner candidates or that they’ve got an ulterior motive. Many people are also stuck behind the gender wall and are always judging their friends or people around by gender and other superficial stuff. Obviously I’m just talking about the general and most girls around me. I don’t think that way but naturally and i’m not saying i’m completely not superficlal, so if I see a hot guy I do think he’s hot.

JustMe said 9 years, 6 months ago:

Obviously the first thing anyone notices about anyone is looks. It’s the most obvious.
However a lot of girls are very cautious around guys because we are taught that boys are only after one thing and that we have to be careful not to lead them on, not to be a tease or a slut, or whatever.
Personally I have always had a lot of guy friends so as long as you’re not staring down my shirt or being inappropriate I’ll talk to you like I would to any other person.

Deleted User said 9 years, 4 months ago:

Um it depends are talking about how a female stranger might see you or an acquaintance/friend? This is just my opinion, but obviously looks are gonna play are role. But thats not the only, let alone the first thing a girl will notice. It might be one thing, but one thing out of dozen other things she might notice. Something that i usually notice in guys is height (but thats cause im short), if their friendly, easy to talk to, and if im comfortable just being around that person. Haha anyways thats just my take on it.

Valeska said 9 years, 4 months ago:

It varies I imagine. Some girls see a guy as only being interested in one thing. They may then act in some very stupid, bitchy ways as a result. Other may see the guy as showing interest, and be nice about it… Some may be afraid of sending the wrong message… it’s a mess. But we wonder if some guys feel this way too lol.

Not beating my own drum here, but most of the guys I’ve met have only been interested in one thing, and I thus tread carefully when a guy does approach me. I however remain myself, I be friendly with everyone, and I’ve made friends as well. So I see that not all guys are the same way.

I usually go for the way a guy would strike up conversation. I don’t like pick up lines and such, I like a guy to be honest, but at the same time genuinely show interest in getting to know me. In so doing, if things doesn’t spark a dating relationship, I will like to know we can still be friends.

Swifting said 9 years, 4 months ago:

Men are just people. Most of the time I’m thinking; “Man I could totally be home reading a book.”

Actually_Wacky said 9 years, 4 months ago:

@swifting Hahahaha love your answer! But honestly, I think it depends on the girl, her age and her personality. For example, most teenage girls are either very insecure or insanely sure of themselves and they will think accordingly.

However, I would be lying if I denied the fact the first thing we all notice is someone’s physical appearance. But for me (and most girls I know) that is not the number one, MOST important factor.

I also agree with @valeska. The way the guy approaches will set the tone for how the girl sees him and what she thinks of him. It really all depends on so many things that it’s difficult to say for sure what is really going through a girl’s mind unless you ask her.

Casper said 9 years, 4 months ago:

Girls probably act uncomfortable around you because of their own history with guys. Especially if that history includes abuse, mistreatment, or sexual harassment. ESPECIALLY if it includes sexual harassment. Until you’ve been relentlessly hit on by a guy you’re not interested in no matter how many times you’ve rejected him, you probably won’t understand this completely. Until you’ve been on the receiving end of the “friend zone” argument, you probably won’t understand this completely.
Just always be respectful towards another person and when they realize you’re being nothing but respectful they’ll be more at ease.

Side Note: Nobody notices your attractiveness first, that’s a lie. People may notice facial features but the first thoughts to go through another person’s head about your features have more to do with observations than judgements. For example, “this person stinks. I should lean away when they get uncomfortably close.”
Nobody notices eye color or anything like that. Please stop comparing romance novels to your own life.

mullofkintyre said 9 years, 4 months ago:

In my experience most girls are guarded because of how a lot of men have shown them they only care about them for sex and nothing else. It’s because of things like street harrassment and other such things that make a lot of girls and women afraid to speak out. So when they see a guy coming up to them they instantly are trying to see whether or not you are only interested in one thing or if you do actually value them. All you can do as a guy is just be patient and understanding of this and be respectful if a girl says no or anything like that. Once she can trust you and your motives then on time she will open up

mini_beethoven said 9 years, 4 months ago:

Sometimes if you’re really nice to a girl she may think you like her, which kind of makes her uncomfortable. When she realises thay you’re not, then she’s okay.

ShadowGX said 9 years, 4 months ago:

Mostly what goes through my head any time I interact with a guy irl is just a lot of anxiety wondering what he thinks of me, even if it’s just a casual interaction that lasts 10 seconds. If a guy is really nice, I notice it and am less paranoid about him thinking I’m a horrible person. If a guy is sitting in a corner kinda glaring, says nothing, I’m definitely a tad frightened, regardless of how “cute” he might be. Now if that same glaring/loner looking guy was not “cute” or “hot” but decided to come up to me and act friendly (not creepy, mind you) then I’d engage in conversation and suddenly my perception of him would change. Looks don’t mean jack if you can’t back them up with a smile and a warmth about you.

I know a lot of girls who are very, very shallow though, and they will not care how nice you are. They only care if you have a good looking face and a nice body, even if they themselves are far from perfect. I don’t judge people who are put off by someone who looks scary, because that’s your honest first impression of someone if they choose to look that way, but I do judge people when they won’t even talk to someone if they’re not “hot”.

Now online I talk to people a lot more, and of course since you can’t see people face to face here it’s much easier to not care at all what someone looks like. They could glare at the screen all they want, but if they type or talk nice that’s all that matters to me.

TL;DR: How someone looks doesn’t matter much to me if they have a warm personality, but a lot of people (not just females) do judge first based on looks because that’s what you see first, but some are very unfair about it. I’m afraid of everyone equally and am honestly more intimidated by the pretty people.

Vena said 9 years, 3 months ago:

In my experience, when a man if being nice or friendly towards a womyn, the womyn will think it’s flirting. Because, being a womyn, the guys I’ve known have been horrible. So, when they are nice, it’s a little unnerving, as if they want something from you. Here’s a little advice. For the love of god, do NOT tell them to smile! That is a really creepy thing to tell a womyn. If they are your friend, that’s fine. But do not say that to a stranger.

Anyway. You can’t really say what goes through a womyn. They are people, they are complex. But, by saying womyn are confusing is just stupid. If they know you’re not just looking for their bodies or whatever, then they’re fine with you. Just be their friend. :)