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Lady Kryptonite said 9 years, 5 months ago:

24/f.I never wanted to get married. I dated a lot and never felt that special connection with anyone. I feel like many people are getting married for the wedding so I never wanted it… and then I met my boyfriend. He tells me he wants to spend the rest of his life with me but doesnt want marriage. It makes me really sad because I feel like if we break up then he will marry the next girl he meets. I don’t just want to get married, I want to marry him. I don’t know what to do. I don’t want to break up with him, he is the love of my life and I don’t want to leave him for that one bad reason.

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MichaelValentine said 9 years, 5 months ago:

Who said it’s a bad reason? Who said Marriage has to happen? Plenty of couples stay with each other but never marry. A lot of the times they register as a Civil Union, which is a non-religious form of Marriage but not quite. Then you have people who have life partners but not spouses. Too many girls are raised to believe Marriage is the one treasure at the end of the rainbow that has to be achieved. And honestly, if you’re actually considering leaving this guy you otherwise love being with just cause he doesn’t want to get married, that’s kinda awful.

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Deleted User said 9 years, 5 months ago:

I am in such a similar boat to you, it’s ridiculous. That being said, if the only (potential) deal breaker for you is marriage and absolutely nothing else, try your best to NOT let it bother you. I know it’s tough because you want that sort of solidified unification – proof that you’ll remain loyal to one another and everything else, but it’s only a ceremony and a piece of paper. If he loves you and wants to be with you, take it because it’s more than most men nowadays are willing to give, unfortunately. If it does ultimately bother you because a piece of you feels like he’s unwilling to commit in a solid way (or whatever reason…), try to have a calm talk to him about it. He could be like my partner and feels like it’s an overrated, money-sucking party that’s over-inflated by media and society alike. If you guys talk about it and he sees how important it is to you, he may come to a sort of compromise with you on it, civil union or otherwise. Wish you the best!

(Hopefully this wall of text makes sense. it’s far too late and I cannot properly grammar check myself!)

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GBWest said 9 years, 5 months ago:

I get the strange feeling more is going on here than meets the eye…

Despite what most of society, and especially Hollywood, say, it is okay to actually ask the question. That being, of course, “What do you think about getting married some day?” Get some reasons out of him for why not to get married, and, JUST AS IMPORTANTLY, reasons for why YOU want to get married to this dude. A discussion back and forth between you two, make two lists, one for him, one for you, and make the effort to understand one another’s perceptions, feelings, thoughts, etc. of the situation. Don’t try to understand each other’s thoughts, DO it. Trying is just half-A’ing it and throwing away the whole point of the exercise.

Anyway, not to stray off topic… Yeah, get a discussion going. Trust me, it works.

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Deleted User said 9 years, 4 months ago:

Maybe something bothering him? Maybe he did not ready to be husband yet? Who know rights? But i understand what you feelings. i think, you should discuss with him? Or slow talk with him.

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