@jhessick Do you have anybody you know who can help distract you from these thoughts? Sometimes trying new things, taking up new hobbies, can help. It’s a figurative and literal way of moving on with your life.
You can’t control the actions of other people, and chances are that if it didn’t work out for this reason then likely there would’ve been another reason down the road too. I don’t know the reason, so I won’t push forward the validity of that statement, but in my personal experience that’s what I’ve found. We can get so caught up in fixing immediate, minute situations that we forget to look at the big picture and realize that the propogation of such issues won’t stop.
I don’t think anyone truly understands their actions and the overarching meaning of their actions until many years after the fact. That’s why, in many cases, people recounting their lives may better see certain events through multiple perspectives. Sometimes even using terminology such as, “it was bound to happen,” because they now understand where it has taken them in life and can process the situation on a different level.
Your question is difficult to answer because being told the answer and incorporating the answer are two very different things. Sometimes tackling things logically isn’t possible, for a time, because your emotions are so strong. In those times, an outside opinion whom you trust may be able to help you. However, that doesn’t mean do what other people say. That can hurt you too because you’re not taking into account your own emotions. None of us can tell you what you need to do, none of us know the right answer, but understanding as many sides to a problem as possible can help you better assess a situation.
Life is like a labyrinth. Someone who looks from above the labyrinth and can see every corner of the maze would be very impressed by its complexity or brilliance. Someone who is inside the labyrinth, working their way through the maze, would be confused and scared and concerned about judging things the right way. The labyrinth isn’t different, the puzzle is the same, but the two viewpoints make all the difference.