A chain story is one where everyone adds a few sentences to what the last person wrote. You can add as much or as little to the plot as you want and you can make the story as crazy and random as you want it to be.
I’ll start us off:
It was late that night as Jennifer and her boyfriend, Matt, laid out on the couch, watching a romantic movie. Matt was holding Jennifer in his arms, so close to her that he could smell her strawberry perfume. Unable to resist, Matt leaned in and kissed his beautiful girlfriend on the cheek. Jennifer giggled as she turned around and kissed Matt back.
“You’re so hot.” Matt said in a deep, sexy voice. It made Jennifer laugh.
Just then, a sound alerted Jennifer. It sounded like heavy footsteps on the porch. It was only Saturday, so Jennifer knew it couldn’t be her mother returning from her business trip. Matt appeared to her it as well.
“What is that?” Jennifer asked. No sooner had the words passed her lips that the front door, which Jennifer had thought was locked, flew open all by itself. Then, someone began to enter the house….
It was her older sister, Vallerie. Vallerie greeted her younger sister and her boyfriend with a “What’s up, bitches.”
“Nothin’ much, just watchin’ a movie.” replied Matt, slightly irritated to how Jennifer’s older sister ruined the mood for them.
“What kind of movie?” Valerie inquired.
“A romantic one.” Jennifer responded.
“Boring. Let’s watch Monty Python instead.” By now, Matt and Jennifer knew that Valerie was as stubborn as a mule, so they didn’t even think of fighting back, and the two were forced to watch Monty Python and The Holy Grail.
It was late at night, and Valerie fell asleep during the movie, and Matt switched it back to the romantic movie.
Little did they know that….
An insane murderer had skinned off Valerie’s face and was currently wearing it as she slept on the couch, waiting for the right time to kill the couple next to her. The couple went up to the bedroom trying to get back in the mood and as they were going up the stairs the killer awoke and crept to the kitchen to get the knives, once she grabbed them she slowly made her way through the upper level to find the couple and once she did she slowly murdrered the girl in front of matts eyes then murdrered him and ran out of the house right before the cops got there to find….
That Matt had miraculously survived the brutal attack. Having lost a great deal of blood, the young man was rushed to the nearest hospital. After he was treated, the pain was immense-but nothing close to the pain of losing Jennifer, the only girl he truly loved.
Late that night, Matt laid in his hospital bed, sound asleep. Suddenly, he was awakened by the sound of footsteps. Slowly, Matt opened his eyes-
And saw Jennifer’s killer standing over his bed.
Matt tried to scream, but before he could, the woman shoved a cloth over his mouth. “You won’t escape from me this time.” She hissed as Matt struggled in vain to break free of her grip. Matt fought with all he had in him, but the chloroform that soaked the cloth was too overpowering. Slowly, Matt found himself slipping into unconsciousness….
And he fell into a coma. The end.
-but wait! That was not the end! Because just as Matt fell into a coma…
…he awoke to find that he was still on the couch and the romantic movie was still playing (via the credits), and oddly Matt’s first thought was: “Damn it’s at the credits! I Missed the whole damn movie!” At which point he looked up to see Jennifer pull off the Halloween mask that was coated thickly underneath with strawberry jam!!!
“Holy Snikeeeezz!”, yelled Matt.
“Yes”, Oh Yes”, replied Jennifer (Whom had no idea Matt had fallen asleep while making out)… “YES! Matt! I LOVE that you love it!”–she paused to grab her underarm, ..”I also have strawberry jam behind my neck, and underneath my arm pits!” (Jennifer stroked her armpit with the palm of her hand, then lifted it to her lips, and licked her fingers of the sticky red jam-filled sweetness.)
“But..But…”, stuttered Matt, “I thought it was strawberry perfume!!!” Matt turned his head in a jerk towards the TV and thought to himself…”Hey! We were making out! And she doesn’t know I fell asleep….hmmmnnn…”
Matt looked back at Jennifer and said, “OH yes… ya know I love the strawberry jam baby!”
At which point Matt inadvertently peed just a little bit in his undies out of fear that Jennifer would realize he had slept through the entire pre-coital play! (He grinned awkwardly hoping she would think it was just pre-excitement and not pre-pee!)
They leaned into one another with slithering slowness… their lips met for a beautiful moment, and as they pulled back from one another to begin opening their eyes from this tasty kiss a glistening strand of strawberry jam stuck between both of their mouths, with just a tiny glistening drip of strawberry jam falling from the bottom of the strand.
“ACK!!”–They both screamed! Turning their heads to see Vallerie shout: “Hide the drugs!– (she threw a bag that hit Matt’s head)–”Mom’s Home!!!!”
“AAAhhhhhhhhhhhhh”—all three of them cried! Just as the Mother walked in the door and said……….
“What is going on in here!?” She stared in open-mouthed shock at the mess in her beautiful living room. Red stains splotched the white leather couch and white carpeting. And the fact that the substance also covered her daughter almost made Ms. Cullens vomit.
“Mom! I-I can explain!” Jennifer shouted as she jumped off the couch, trying to make herself appear presentable. Matt just laid on the couch, unable to say a word in his defense.
But before Jennifer could come up with a rational explanation for the mess she and Matt had made, Ms. Cullens start to cough profusely. It took a few minutes for Jennifer to notice her mother was hacking up blood. Red spots stained the sleeve of her white fur coat.
“Mom? Are you OK?” Jennifer asked. In response, Ms. Cullens let out one loud cough….
And spat out her own heart.
Jennifer shrieked in horror as her mother collapsed to her floor dead, lying right next to her still beating heart.
The mother’s eyes rolled back; her face grew pale and she stared blankly at her distraught daughter. She gave one last blood spitting gasp and her frozen stiff body fell to the floor.
“Oh thank god.” Valerie cried. “If mother knew I smoked so much meth I would be grounded.” she let out a breath of relief, and removed the glass pipe from the couch cushion.
But to everyone’s dismay, Matt had already taken five stolen viagra pills he found in his Uncle’s bathroom. His testosterone escalated and could not contain his horny urges. “Vallerie! We bought the last dope! You hide this body.” he growled.
Valerie grabbed the fresh corpse’s feet and drug it into the bathroom to begin chopping up the body.
HORK ME JENNIFER!@28Z2379ONE(!*274 Matt yells as he sits down. He grabs her hand and she sits next to him.
“One more hit” Jennifer holds up her pipe.
“This isn’t normal, but on meth it is.” Matt says firmly.
Jennifer attempted a smile, but she had already stitched her face back onto her stretched skull, the needle and threading was still fresh and hurt.
Jennifer is now deformed, her nostril is now one stretched near her left eye, which droops and the whole damn thing is just a mess.
She stopped smiling and started to smoke her meth. She took a large hit and then;
Everything felt heavenly. Matt’s skin felt like velvet and the still air felt unusually cool against her skin. Jennifer was so immersed in her meth-induced euphoria that she didn’t hear Matt screaming out in satisfaction as he had his way with her.
And neither of them heard the door creak open.
It was only when Jennifer’s brains were splattered on the wall did Matt realize there was an unwelcome visitor. He looked up and gasped when he saw the man standing there, a smoking gun in his hand.
“I told you to get rid of that whore.” The man said as he walked up to Matt. Then, before Matt could scream, he smacked the butt of his gun against Matt’s head, knocking him unconscious. Then, after putting the gun in his back pocket, the man hitched Matt’s unconscious body over his shoulder and headed for the door. But not before giving Matt’s behind a firm squeeze, followed by a slight moan.
“How did I get blessed with such a hot nephew?” The man said before carrying Matt outside to his car. He put the boy into his trunk and drove off into the night.
Then Matt jerked awake to find that he was still on the couch and the romantic movie was still playing (via the credits), and oddly Matt thought: “Damn it’s at the credits! I Missed the whole damn movie!” He glanced at Jennifer who was snoring, drool escaping the left side of her mouth, her right hand still grasping a half eaten pizza pocket and resting on her stomach.
“She ate without me,” pouted Matt, who suddenly had an urge for a strawberry sandwich. It had gotten dark, only the glow of the TV lighting the walls with eerie shapes as the picture changed. Except that one shadow, there, over by the plant stand. As Matt gazed at the dark splotch, roughly the size of a large human, he idly wondered why the light seemed to ignore that part of the wall. As he stared, two small red lights seem to flicker into existence, about where eyes would be if the shape was a person. It unnerved him and he rubbed his eyes. Looking up again, the lights were still there, a dull red. They seemed to be focusing on him, and he heard something whispering in the air… or maybe it was in his head. He wanted to wake Jennifer, but he was mesmerized and couldn’t move. The whispering was breathy and seemed to contain a lot of hissing. He couldn’t quite make it out. It sounded English, but not. Then the shape moved…
And out rolled Jennifer’s pet cyborg. Matt was transfixed for all of two seconds, after which he realized that this was just another one Jennifer’s many geeky toys and the only thing that stopped him from going at it with a baseball bat (he carried one around everywhere ever since his uncle tried to sneak into his bed) was the fact that Jennifer had paid over a a thousand dollars for the sophisticated robot, money she had earned by selling her Left kidney.
He watched as the robot rolled to a halt in front of him.
It was singing the German national anthem. No wonder it kinda sounded English.
But then, he realized, the only reason a robot would sing the German national anthem was….
..if had been programmed a revisionist history where Germany had won WW2. Now what, he thought. Just who was this Jennifer. Sure, he had met her earlier that spring in the cheese rolling contest at Cooper’s Hill. He had won the first heat, and while he was recovering from the bruises incurred upon falling at the finish line, he watched as this women ran, jumped, rolled and otherwise bumped down the hill yelling, “As you wish” until she lay in a heap 3 feet short of the finish line herself. Some ruddy Scottsman claimed that heat, but Matt couldn’t help but share his 9 lb round of Double Gloucester cheese with the bruised woman, who turned out to be Jennifer, this now sleeping, drooling woman beside him on the couch. And the German…