 Passing Stranger
441 QA Reputation47 | MerryMaddy15 said 10 years, 4 months ago: Hi! I’m new to the group. I’m pretty young but have experienced some very… interesting age gaps. Hoping this group isn’t too judgmental on the topic haha. So I am pretty mature for my age both mentally and physically, I’ve tried to date guys my age but it just never seems to work. Even guys that I’m just friends with who are my age tend to want one thing and will disrespect me and mess with me until I give it to them. One of my “friends” who was 16 who I only put up with because of mutual friends literally shoved my face in his crotch and said “come on just do it stop being a freak” when I told him I didn’t want to blow him. Pretty messed up if you ask me. However I have had the luck of meeting some really nice people who are older. I meet people surfing on the beach and eating out and different places and older guys tend to be attracted to me as friends first and other things second. Of course they think oh my gawd hot chick or whatever but they have control over it unlike younger guys. I made a really good friend who’s 21 when I was out in a different state on vacation and we just sort of hit it off. He visited me in my state a few months later and we did our thing and hung out and one thing led to another and we just ended up having sex. I know it was illegal and all that but it was totally consensual and he wasn’t using me at all. He is so sweet and he always thinks of me first and makes sure I am comfortable, and he gets all concerned that and notices the little things and apologizes for funny stuff like his hair getting in the way when we kiss. Overall he has respect for me too unlike younger guys. We still talk since that summer night and we want to see eachother again it’s just that distance is kind of our enemy for now. Whenever I tell anyone about even being close to this guy they freak out all because he is older then me. Our birthdays are only a month or two apart so it is a pretty even 6 years, it sounds kind of big when you think 15-21 but not when you think 21-27 So I try to think about things in the long run. We want to stay friends and see were things go because we oddly enough have similar goals in moving to hawaii (me for college, him for business). Is it such a bad thing that I attract older guys…. and is it such a bad thing that I may be attracted to them? | |
 Newbie
12 QA Reputation37 | Astacia said 10 years, 3 months ago: I don`t think it`s a bad thing at all. My boyfriend and I are 5 years apart and this is by far the most successful relationship that I have had. At the start everyone around me said he`s only using you.
It`s different being with an adult instead of a child especially if you`re more mature for your age. I was always attracted to older guys, and I never had father issues. They were just more respectful, had their lives figured out. I would say go for it but keep it on the down low until you hit the age of sexual consent in your state or province. My relationship was also long distance and I hated it. But Skype was our best friend, and we`re now living together.
I wish you the best of luck and I truly hope that you found your other half. And f those who are judgmental bout it! | |
 Familiar Face
3315 QA Reputation967 | Staceylou said 10 years, 3 months ago: If you’re mature enough to handle the age gap there’s nothing wrong with it. My boyfriend is 6 years older than me, he’s made me happier than anybody else has. If you’re happy go for it, don’t worry about what others think. | |
 Passing Stranger
500 QA Reputation20 | babyblue94 said 10 years, 1 month ago: this sounds a little much but my boyfriend and I are almost 24 years apart but he’s the only guy I’ve ever dated that I trust with everything! I have never been more happy or in love than I am right now  | |
 Passing Stranger
284 QA Reputation105 | noworries1620 said 10 years, 1 month ago: Be careful. If your parents find out that you had sex with him, you are still a minor, and they can press charges even though you say it was consensual. It’s because the state says that you are not ready to make that decision yet. (unfair I know)You need to be very careful. Love is a crazy thing and I hope it works out. Peace | |
 Common Friend
12671 QA Reputation16417 | Humanist Hope said 10 years, 1 month ago: Respect your lover enough to not place them in a potentially legally compromising position. A statutory rape conviction and years on a Sex Offendor registry are NOT worth a few stolen thrills. Love can wait. | |
 Passing Stranger
174 QA Reputation52 | Enoli said 9 years, 10 months ago: It is dangerous from a legal perspective. Other than that, I can relate to you. I remember going on a date when I was 16 and feeling so mature in comparison to the guy. I’ve always liked older guys; they get me, I get them. My first “real” relationship started when I was 17 with a 23 year old. Please note we did not have sex the first year. (we dated on/off for 2 years). I would stay away from sex for now and be cautious about where you date. | |
 Familiar Face
5357 QA Reputation1554 | The Giggle Blizzard said 9 years, 10 months ago: It’s normal to be attracted older guys, in fact I think it’s normal for any teenager to be attracted to older people. Having that said though here are my thoughts on it. Now I may be totally biased, these are not facts but generalizations and I’m only speaking from personal observations, values, experiences, and thoughts but to me it seems irresponsible, immature and honestly a bit desperate to seek romantic/sensual relationships with 15 year olds when you’re over 20 and most of the guys (girls too but that doesn’t seem to happen as often) I see doing this are irresponsible, immature or desperate. The age difference isn’t as big of a deal, in my opinion, when both are adults or 18 and 16, 19 and 17 or something along those lines, but even at 18 I think that you should be hesitant to see minors as potential partners. Now your case may be different, there are always exceptions and from what you’ve said it sounds like the guy is legit, but be very cautious, there is no need to rush into things. You’re still growing, learning and changing and he is probably not doing this as much, and teenage romances usually don’t last that long. | |
 Passing Stranger
247 QA Reputation0 | GLaDOS said 9 years, 10 months ago: Well first I’ll never understand this damn thing of age that the United States have, ok, It works for pedophilia and child abuse, but it is literally too harsh on some points, I live in a country where it’s ok a 21 years old guy to talk to a 15 or 16 year old girl, in where the consensual age for anything is 14 years old, It’s only abuse if the “teen” is older than fourteen and that “adult” it’s 9 years apart from that, and only in some cases. But if he’s being really sweet with you even after having sex it means he liked you, at least in some point, I know how stupid 16 years can be, I never liked guys that were the same age as me, but take care of yourself, it’s not easy to be your age. | |
 Familiar Face
4614 QA Reputation1375 | DJ Not Nice said 9 years, 10 months ago: I agree with @giggleblizzard and @blackholehead @maddykhey All that matters for you is to not put yourself and other people in illegal situations related to that relationship, as it may affect your life negatively. @glados The US age of consent laws vary from state to state but they’re along the international average between 16 and 18. The point of an age restriction is to have a basis, and average of the general population where the state, and society in general, believes that you are old enough to have sexual intercourse and procreate. There are exceptions, like anywhere, and maturity and sexuality are all relative for each and everyone, but the point of a law is to have a consensus. A 15 years old girl can be as ‘mature’ and responsible as the average 40 years old woman, but the fact of the matter is that in general, 15 years olds (male or females) are not responsible enough to procreate and have sexual intercourse safely. It’s all a matter of education and preparation in the end, but as of today’s circumstances and current general behaviour, with the prevalence of a rape culture amongst other bullshit, the age of consent is important to be set at rational levels, since in general, people under the age of consent (16 y/o is the intl average) can be manipulated more easily and are more vulnerable to abuses than people above the age of consent. That’s the purpose of the law, and even if there are exceptions, like anywhere, it’s primordial to set a logical law based on the average population, and not exceptions. | |
Passing Stranger
247 QA Reputation0 | GLaDOS said 9 years, 10 months ago: @djnotnice yeah I totally understand this, but as it’s been said, her parents can sue the guy because they won’t think she’s mature enough, and than it’s up to a judge to decide this, and his social and political views can help or not all this, my country has a logical law based on age and everything, the system is fucked up, and mostly in here the number of sexist guys are unbelievable, it’s something that comes from the society in all places of the world. | |
