WHY DONT LISTENERS TALK ?

I got shot down for being "overly enthusiastic." I always start the conversation and try to help to the best of my ability. If you need someone, message me.

I've always been the one who starts the conversation. I'll listen in the best way I can. If you want some support, you can just send a message.

one time I vented to someone about my problems and asked "what do you think?" and "what should I do?" and guess what their reply was? "idk." It was horrible. Usually as a listener I wait a little bit and if they don't start the conversation, I do and I ask how they are. That's usually when they start venting. If they don't respond to that I ask how they feel. If they don't respond to that I ask if anything is wrong. When I listen to other peoples problems, it's a distraction from my own problems. It makes me feel better and it makes the other person feel better. Especially if we have things in common or if I can honestly reassure them of something. When you have a problem, try to actually be a listener. It's strangely as therapeutic as venting. (at least for me it is).

I suppose it's because the listener expect the venter to open up first. But I agree with you; the listener not only needs to help start the conversation, but they need to keep it going. If you're not happy with the listener, then disconnect from them and find another. There's always someone along the line that'll little to you. If it counts for anything, I'm always here.

I think it mostly depends on the person doing the listening. Whenever I'm a listener my thought is always 'this person has chosen to be a venter for a reason' so just be friendly and welcoming and make them feel at ease about discussing possibly very personal problems. But some people may be hesitant talking about certain topics and that can make them shy away, so they wait for the venter to say something first which can be good or bad.While it's true that venters are just regular people and not machines, so too are the listeners who may have their own hang ups or issues. But that's the good thing of this place; for better or worse everyone is equal.

I agree with you and I know how you feel... it's kind of disappointing when they disconnect if I don't reply immediately as well...

Haha XD Yeah I see that happening too. Some disconnect if the venter says nothing while they are waiting. It's funny to me but haha it happens. Listeners are not suppose to say hi first or anything like that. It is not a rule, but it's nice to do so. Also...Listeners are not the ones to talk, as they are "Listeners" so it's not an obligation they talk much. If you want a listener that talk less to talk more, then tell them kindly you'd like them to talk more or advice you concerning your issue. I think it all comes to people having different ways of approaching things. Some people think they are there to listen alone and only that so they shouldn't initiate the conversation or try to keep it going. Others follow the more "professional" way which is to get to understand the issue the venter is having without interrupting too much. It needs a balance. In the long run, if you end up with someone that way you can disconnect till you get someone who says "hi" first. Remember though that if a listener has been waiting for long to get to a venter he/she might be doing other things so they might not be 100% present the time you get into the chat if they are multitasking, which means if they are doing something else like viewing a video on YT or stuff like that they might not be able to greet you first because they are not present at that moment. It all depends. Do what makes you feel better and try to cool down as yelling at "us" with caps won't change much :)

As someone who often goes in as a listener because theyre too afraid to be the venter, its just as hard for me to start the conversation and keep it going as it is for you. I always say hello first and then ask the venter "So what brings you here today?" Occasionally I get that person who says "I dunno..." or who tells me their problem and then gets angry with me for not telling them exactly what they want to hear or for not magically solving their problems somehow and then they disconnect. Im not saying that any of what you said is wrong, Im just saying that as a listener, I experience a lot of frustrating situations as well and I can understand how eventually that can make a person less helpful or responsive in the future when being a listener. But I suppose if you can't be a helpful listener, you shouldn't be one at all, since venters are venting because theyre vulnerable and a bad listener can just make things worse.