I'm sorry to hear about your mom's harsh words.
I don't know your mom, where she's been or anything about you or your family's story so it is a difficult question to answer. But from my experience, a son or daughter is the most precious gift any person could ever ask for.
Your mom, believe it or not, is human, just like you. She is flawed and she makes mistakes. She has been on this earth a lot longer than you and she has probably walked through many painful things. Try to think of that when she is upset with you.
What I love to do is reverse it on the person. I had a girlfriend screaming in my face one time and all I said was, "You're so beautiful". She just smiled and her walls dropped. I was even shocked. So, if she is upset, ask her a question about her, "Is everything okay?" or "Even though you're mad at me, I still love you". You are taking a negative and flipping it around to a positive. That has worked wonders for me.
Finally, you are not disgusting. You are beautiful and precious and one of a kind! Don't let anyone label you. It's hard to hear from a parent. I would tell her how her words hurt you. Communicate that to her after she calms down.
I hope I was able to help! Take care!
