I had been good friends with this guy for about a year when he asked me out. I said yes and ended up liking him back. A year has passed since then and we aren’t much closer than we were back then. We have been on/off for the past year. Things tend to fizzle after the first month “back together” when I seem to be out of sight, out of mind. He won’t contact me unless I contact him. He never asks me to hang out, but he hangs out with his friends often.
However, he swears that he likes me and is interested in developing a relationship. Clearly, his actions show that that isn’t the case… 2 months ago he came to me and told me he didn’t want to run away, that he wanted to try again… but he doesn’t take me out, flirt with me, call me, etc.
So what’s the deal? What’s the point of his actions? Sex was never involved. And another thing… what is making me put up with it for the past year?
Lots of things could be at play here, he could have anxiety,be incredibly shy, an over thinker, think you you don't really like him, he could be confused, busy,stringing you along etc. The only way to know for sure is to ask him and to tell him what you would like to see happen.
Only you know the answer as to why you put up with this, whatever your reasons were,it doesnt mean you have to continue to.
itsallaboutthelittlethings is right, the only true way is to ask. I just want to emphasize that things won't change on their own. People wait around too often for something to change in hopes of bringing back a time when their relationship was good. Or sitting around on empty promises. Even though he may say things, ultimately actions speak louder than words. It doesn't mean that things can't change, but a discussion needs to happen and from the looks of it, you're obviously not satisfied. You should be able to be honest and true and speak your mind with your significant other.
Well, I would tell him you need more attention, or you should ask him to hang out first. Once he sees how great you are, he might ask you out on the next date. Who knows? He might just need a breath of fresh air. I would give him one more chance, and if he still ignores you like that, dump him. I think what makes you put up with him is that he's cute, or sweet, or popular. You don't want to lose the whole package. But I need to tell you this: The boy's looks doesn't matter. It's what's on the inside that really counts. And if you look deep into his heart and see a guy who will always ignore you, he's not the right soulmate for you.