Why can I not find a girl who likes me?

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I have felt really alone recently because I’ve never kissed anyone or been in a relationship. Basically, the majority of my friends (guys and girls) are in relationships, some I even helped into those relationships. But, I still haven’t found anyone in the past 2 years of looking for a girl. I am happy with my looks, but it just seems that girls are going for the really good looking and really popular. I act really nice, kind and friendly with them but they don’t seem to care. Whenever I’m out I see a lot of couples together and it makes me feel sad and alone. I want to find someone who will make me feel really happy and special, but I just feel like I’ll never kiss someone or be in a relationship.

Category: asked June 13, 2014

7 Answers

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You might be putting too much emphasis on finding a girl. You know how they say you only find what you're looking for when you stop looking for it? People are naturally attracted to those who have a self-sustained happiness, who appreciate their friends and the life they live without dwelling on the feeling that something is missing. I know it's hard not to think about it a lot in a society so riddled on sex and relationships, and it's only natural to feel like there needs to be something more, but... Focus on those things you already have, remain confident and positive and in time you'll find it was worth the wait!! :)
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To start, the truth is that no one will completely understand your particular situation. The advice i give is biased since it is based off of the experiences and events that have occurred in my life. The truth is that I can relate to your problem and have a recommendation on how to approach the problem.Here is the problem, you have to look at your primary reasoning as to why you want a relationship. You want the happiness and joy that comes from having a relationship and that is alright, but you have to ask yourself are you happy with yourself? I believe that before you go finding anybody the first person you need to find happiness with is yourself. See, how can you be happy with someone in a relationship if your not happy with yourself. A relationship does not guarantee happiness especially when you haven't learned to be happy with yourself.Before committing yourself about having a relationship take some time to see why you want to kiss a girl. There is nothing wrong with wanting a girl/boyfriend but realize that maybe some of the reasons why you want one so badly may be whats holding you back from getting one. Its great that you want to find someone that makes you feel special and great but you have to come to realize that you yourself still have not regarded yourself as special and great.If you want people to notice you and be attracted to you then you have to start off by fixing and working on all the problems that pertain to you. Physical attraction has a major role in sparking peoples interest but another key player is a persons self esteem and how well they understand themselves. Focus on making yourself happy before you find someone who will only be with you out of pity rather choice. You do not want to become a charity where a girl will be with you only because she feels sorry for you but instead have her want to be with you because she wants to.Before you go rushing into a relationship take a moment and think of why your so lonely and sad, what are you doing that is holding you back and how can you fix it. Once you have solved your problems and are content with yourself and not afraid of being alone then are you capable of finding someone
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This is a very practical approach but it seems to actually work - at least to some extent: Have you been looking for something, i.e. house keys, a book, your glasses, etc., but had to give up in the end, only to find that item shortly after? The same principle often applies to social life. The harder you look for something, and in a specific way, the less open your mind is to alternatives. Most solid relationships start off with friendship, but if you're too intent on exploring the possibility of a relationship you're likely to miss that opportunity, and you may even come off as one-sided or even desperate, and those are traits most people (as far as I know) try to avoid in a potential partner. Source: personal experience.
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Don't worry about it. I know exactly how you feel because that's how I used to feel. But honestly, once you stop worrying about it is when life surprises you with an amazing person. It's a completely normal feeling, but try to stop caring or hang out with friends more until that special person does come.
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I know exactly how you feel. I have no friends in my town, nor have I ever dated. I've had really bad social anxiety, shyness, self esteem, and so much more. But, I'm starting to want to be out there more with friends (if I can find some), and doing things in life. I still am the same ole girl I used to be, but I just have gotten the attitude of im sorry if I don't impress you, you can just move on lol. I'm actually having the hardest time just like you are. I can't even find a friend in my town to hang out with, hence the reason I made a post in the generals forum. I'm hoping things will work out for us bioth, but in the meantime we have to be positive.
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I understand what you’re going through. I’ve always been that weird girl. I have a good heart and I’m very smart but my personality usually keeps me single. I didn’t have my first kiss until I was 16! And even then, it was forced on me! I have been in the spot where you give relationship advice, I didn’t know how I could’ve given it if I had never seriously been in a relationship. If a girl chooses you because you’re good looking or won’t choose you because you’re not then she is shallow and you should run away, quickly! I think the right girl will come along, give it time!
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don't worry about a thing, you might be able to find someone soon. it might not be today or tomorrow but soon.