what should i do about us ?

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i fell in love with a boy and we were together for 8 months. after we broke up he did everything he could to be able to talk to me from time to time. today its been almost 1 month we haven’t spoken.he sent me a message on facebook yesterday night he told me that he is happy i changed his life positively and he hopes im taking care of myself and my family. this was a bit stupid. i didnt get the purpose of the message. anyway i am still madly in love with him. i am controlling my life as much as possible but i miss him a lot and i have a fear that he will stop loving me although i know he loves me. the point is when i see a happy couple i die inside and i wish it was us. i am very confused whether i should move on because i am too close, or i should get back to him.

Category: Tags: asked September 26, 2014

2 Answers

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of course i wish to get him back and be with him forever. but i want to do what is best for us. i dont wana get back with him now and break up later, because its going to hurt much more than now.
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It's my experience that sometimes when you get a 'I'm glad you've changed your life positively, I'm really happy for you' message - it's a way they're often trying to seek closure, because someone can want you to be happy, even if they don't want to be with you. It might not be the case here, but I've written messages like this and received messages like this and they generally sort of indicate a 'glad you've moved on' sort of background tone.

Break-ups are really hard, and it takes a long time to get to a place where the grief and the loss doesn't hurt as much. I mean - really hard - and it's natural that you want a solution to those feelings! I obviously can't say whether you will get back together or not, but I think for *yourself*, it might be important to be patient with yourself and how hard these feelings are. Like recovering from a physical wound, some things just take time. It won't always hurt you so much to see happy couples, or listen to happy love songs. It can also help sometimes to distract yourself from the worst of the feelings by seeing friends, going to movies, watching cute or funny Youtube videos. Anything that just gives you a little extra to get through the day, even if it doesn't feel like much at the time. Every little bit counts. Though so many people experience heartbreak, it never gets easier to deal with - and I think you need to treat this like it is over, for your own peace of mind. I wish you the best in holding on.