What can i do to get a girl to be interested in me?

Im 29, and used to be very attractive, charismatic, and desirable. But after bouts with drug addiction, and bad luck with health (Diabetes, lost all teeth from infection, Anemia), and losing my house, and family, it seems like I have nothing that a girl would be interested in, or find desirable. I used to have so many girls that liked me and now I feel it was ll because I had money and had things going for me. Im still the same looking guy but cant smile anymore cause all my teeth were extracted and the replacements are obvious. I have a good attitude and play off all the negative aspects that surround me very well but the discouragement is beginning to be to much to handle. I cant bear the thought of going any longer alone. All I have anymore is my mother whom I take care of, and we stay in a motel after losing our house in Hurricane Irene due to flood damage. As soon as a girl finds out about my life and the truth of who I am….well lets just put it this way, I haven’t had a girl interested in me in 6 years and am convinced that the truth of the matter is obvious. Are theyre any girls who actually would see past these things to find the person i truly am? It was always my charm and genuine nature that brought girls in, but now none seem willing to look past the negative things that just cant be ignored or hidden. I am so lonely and heartbroken that I cry myself to sleep everynight cause I actually do care and wanna share my love and life with someone but it really seems like a lost cause. I dont even know why i even fucking am typing this…..nothing seems to help. Im just nt desirable for what women want and have nothing for a girl to find attractive in me I guess, and that is hard to swallow cause I have all the qualities you would think a girl would like. Im kinda shy and dont pretend to be perfect, or something Im not, but I guess I the best years of my life are behind me in terms of love, which is sad cause im 29 and only had one girl who ever seemed to really love me Is there a girl who actually would be willing to see past my aesthetic issue and bad luck in life and actually give a worthy lonely boy a chance to know what love feels like again?
My depression this causes and suicidal thoughts grow thicker and more tense everyday cause I have nothing anymore in terms of family, health, home, friends, and all I really want is to know that I am worth loving and that I someone I adore would actually adore me the same way. I very tell anyone these thoughts cause I know how weak and unattractive it is for a guy to be open, and not overly-confident but pretending to be hurts so much cause everyne thinks everything is ok, but its not…..maybe I should just shut the fuck up, cause thats how I feel. Ima a man and I should just shut up and deal with the fact that my life is fucked and no matter what I do now, Im cursed to be alone in any intimate sense…..

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Mr. Forgotten

3 Answers

I'm sorry you've been dealing with bad circumstances and depression. Every girl is different, and of course there are girls out there who would be happy to be with you, just maybe none of the ones you've spoken too or been interested in so far. Is the problem getting dates in the first place, or keeping a long term relationship? Remember, you aren't alone, you have your mom, and everyone on this site, and possibilities for new friendships are always out there. Are you currently struggling with drug addiction, or is that all in your past? If it's current, people might be wary of starting a relationship with you out of concern for their well being and yours, or not knowing how to help you through it.

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PhantomOther

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Been there done that! I lost Everything. And I mean THING. But in that, I kind of found myself. I didn't have clothes and stuff to hide behind anymore. I had to figure out who I wanted to be seen as, What kind of person I wanted to be. Then I worked hard to be that person. I said, 'having nothing doesn't mean I'm nothing, it means I have to be more'. And someone saw threw the thrift store jeans and the dollar store make up and liked me as a person. It was really nice having someone see me as a person and not a nice dress. So I guess what I am saying is, get a notebook and write down things you like about yourself, and things you want to change. Find a way to project the good things about yourself, and when someone points out something that they think is wrong with you, remember, its only a flaw if you don't know its there. instead, its a project that you will one day be proud to say you conquered and were better for it. Something someone special will point out with pride and tell the world that you changed that thing, it was hard but you did it. And it will make you feel wonderful.

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flutterbygrl

I've seen a few similar posts of yours. It sounds like you're really in a difficult place right now. But you sound very resilient and I think that's the key to solving your problem of finding someone to share your life with. I have no doubt that there's a girl out there for you, but as you have acknowledged there's a lot missing from your life right now that would help you to find the right girl. I think in the state you're currently in, it would be very difficult to find a girl that would be a worthwhile partner. Not necessarily BECAUSE you don't have certain things to offer, but because bad people tend to take advantage of people that are in difficult places. You would be an easy target if the wrong person came into the picture. I don't think you want any more to deal with. Even if there was nothing going wrong in your life, a relationship is hard work and even if you were lucky enough to find the perfect girl tomorrow, it still might complicate your situation. I think what you can do to attract a woman, is try to take care of yourself as best you can. I understand you're in a difficult situation right now and I wish I had a perfect answer to help you get through this, but I agree with the previous post that there are lots of opportunities for friendships, and friends can be a huge help to get you to the right place. I'm not sure where you're located, but I know that a lot of churches offer help to those that are struggling like you are right now, they sometimes offer shelter, free meals, free counseling. Regardless of whether you believe I god, or whether you hate organized religion, there are churches that offer legitimate help and I think it might help to seek them out. Sometimes when you're in a dark place, you attract dark people and you don't want that. So, when you start to build your life again, you will start to attract the right people and finally find the kind of friends, or girlfriend that you deserve. Don't give up hope, your posts show a lot of strength and character, the trials we endure help to create us and when you come out on the other side of this, you'll be much stronger for it. Please take care of yourself and have a happy holidays!

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