was i wrong or right in saying this ?

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so here’s the issue :

yesterday, my boyfriend, alerted to me that he h as to go get a Second job in order to pay off some accumulated debt. And because or this him and I won’t be able to hang much anymore. I told him that was fine. Later. when he mentioned he had time free time, I asked him if he wanted to Skype for a little bit. Me said maybe ,but he Probably couldn’t I said that was fine, I was just hoping he could make a little time for me.

Innocent enough… right?

Me then Proceeded to cuss me out I and went on a miniture tirade about the Second Job thing. And Flat out told me to not call him.

As you can imagine. I felt pretty hurt. so I sent him this message:

I’m tired of you treating me.like I’m an inconvenience in your life. I’ve been here .for you through all of this shit, and i haven’t once lashed out at you or left you. All i want is a bit of your time every day. That’s not unreasonable. That’s not too much to ask for. And not on Facebook, i want to be able to actually hear your voice, it really makes my day. I’m not leaving you over lashing out at me ,but I’d greatly appreciate you to understand that I’m tired of you lashing out at me . You have the perfect right to be snappy , I’d probably act the same way if i was in your situation. But please, please, PLEASE , don’t take out your anger on me. I’m more then willing to be here for you, But if you keep snapping at me, I’m gonna start backing away. Christian, i love you like you wouldn’t believe, but what you said earlier was MEAN. You made me feel horrible for just wanting to talk to you. I did nothing wrong. I understand your situation, i understand it perfectly. I know you don’t have much free time anymore. I understand the consequences if you can’t pay off the debt, and i wanna help you out.

Babe, i know i just unleashed a slew of feelings into this Facebook message, but i needed to say it sooner.then later

was I right in saying this?

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BlackPegasus

112

2 Answers

If he said that he has to work two jobs then it's a bit too much asked to skype with him for a bit daily. There's nothing wrong with skyping maybe 2-3 times a week, that would be reasonable, but every day a bit doesn't sound like a reasonable request to ask from someone who's working two jobs. It's not even reasonable to ask from someone who works "just" one job. Some times people also need some alone time, no matter how good a relationship is. It sounds like you're suffocating him even though you mean it well. I get that you want to hear his voice, that you look forward to it, bit daily is just too much. I think that he's currently under a lot of stress, so I can see why he snapped on you like that. Try to give him a bit more space. On the plus side, he will be able to relax a bit more which will reduce his stress and it'll make the days that you do hear his voice much more special. This might not be what you wanted to hear, but this is my honest opinion and I also speak partly from experience. I wish you the best of luck and I hope you can work things out.

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Rain

9,516

Hi, i totally think you were right for what you said and you shouldn't regret it. You expressed your feelings and had the right to do so. In a relationship you need to make time to talk to each other and he should be understanding of how you feel. If it is bothering you a lot what you said, maybe ask him if you guys would be able to talk about it and do it in a calm matter. Hope everything works out !

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jade