Was i raped

When i was 14 i had a 6 month relationship with a guy who was 16.. I said to him from the beginning i wanted to wait til my 15th to have sex but a few weeks before we were getting into things and i didnt realise what had happened til it was over and i was fine with it at the time and afterwards but now i feel really confused about the situation. A month after we broke up i got drunk for the first time and there was another guy who i was close with before the relationship there, i was very drunk and people say he wasnt anyway we ended up having sex but i remember thinking i wanted to leave but couldnt and its all just a massive blur and people tell me i was just drunk and it was my own fault and just shrug it off as a big mistake and i dont know if i think it was without my consent just because i regret it… And i know that if i say its rape then i tell myself its not i just dont know how to feel about it all

Tags: Rape confused minor help asked July 28, 2014

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Helpmeplease

6 Answers

Sweetie, the fact that you were drunk is almost reason enough to call it rape. Especially if you remember not enjoying it. Its hard to report because of the fact that you were under the influence will case this situation to be tagged as rape. I think it would be hard to have any legal action taken (if thats what you want) but if you feel like thats the right thing to do, please go for it. That guy should have gotten consent. And if he was sober, HE SHOULD HAVE KNOWN BETTER. And that is definitely rape. Even if you can't get the support you need, i think you try your damn hardest to get that guy put away.

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Kitly

it is not implausible. It is highly likely that he waited until you were very drunk before he started trying to get into your pants, but it was your sober decision to wait before you had sex, so having sex when drunk would not have been your decision. That counts as rape. If you were under 15 when it happened, it was still statutory rape.

A rape victim never asked for it. the only people who say those awful things are either insensitive, bitter, inexperienced, or just plain stupid. It was not your fault..

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Humanist Hope

16,417

Everyone thinks i said that it was rape for attention, but as soon as my friends said that it was i started panicking that people would think that i was attention seeking, i wouldnt report him as it was so long ago and it wouldnt help me get closure or anything. I dont really know what i want to be completely honest! But thank you x

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Helpmeplease

I know you never asked for any of these things to happen, but if you were too drunk to know what was happening, he could have been just as drunk and not known what he was doing either. It's tough to tell. Either way, just be careful. A guy will jump on an opportunity to have sex whether he's aware of what's happening or not. If you go with people you trust and take care of yourself, this won't happen again. I'm really sorry that you have to go through this, but you'll be ok in the long run if you talk to people you trust, I promise. I know from experience. Stay strong!

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Alexandra

It's is very normal for people that have been raped to say to themselves that it wasn't rape. For me it was the feeling of wishing that nothing wrong had happened, that things like that don't really happen in real life and indeed not to me, but sadly they do. So I'll tell you that you are not alone, there are many people in this website that can understand you and if you need to talk to someone that understands I'm here. It doesn't matter what people tell you or think about it, it's your situation and you are the important part of it. It is important for you to understand that is not your fault, you didn't ask for it and being drunk doesn't give the right to anybody to do things that you do not want doing to you. Stay strong :)

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Auri

929

I'm not going to lie to you, girl.. You may have been raped. If you specifically remember wanting to leave, but couldn't... That is a pretty good give away.

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Kate