So, I was a freshman last year, and to be straightforward about it, there was a junior who I sort of knew who really wanted to have sex with me. At the time, I thought it was great – being a horny teenager, it sounded like a win-win. I later found out that this person, let’s call them M, had wanted a “friend with benefits” for a long time, and they really wanted me to be that for them. I didn’t get it at first, in fact I thought they were kidding when they told me about it – and didn’t get it until they actually kissed me for the first time. At this point, I was second-guessing myself alot, and didn’t know what to do. I knew this person, and they were my friend, and I knew that I was supposed to want to have sex, but I felt really uncomfortable when it was happening. I think it was sort of clear when it was happening that I wasn’t into it (Lightly pushing them away, negative body language, ect.) but they never stopped or changed anything. Latley (this was about 10 months ago) I’ve felt really akward being around this person, because they’re still behaving like they’re really close to me (Putting their arm around me, leaning their head on my shoulder, other affectionate-ish things) and it make me feel really awkward and uncomfortable. I don’t know how to talk about this thing. I know that “rape” is a really heavy word, and that it shouldn’t be thrown around, but is that what happened? I’m a really confident person, with the thickest skin possible, but this has really shaken me. Is there any advice anyone could give me? I don’t know what to do or how to talk about this. I don’t want to, and it’s taken me time to even want to discuss it here, anonymously, online. Anything you say means alot to me, thanks.
