well, I used to go to a gym for 5 years till 2012 … There I had met the love of my life (well, let’s say) …. We never did anything but for all these years there was standard flirting and teasing and things between us. Always. He did not make moves or when he did I was very shy and did not know how to handle it.
I had always been very shy around him and we would just flirt but never hit on each other. After one year we started meeting all the time and we would talk more than usually and he even told me he liked me. After 2 years of this situation he broke up with his girlfriend and I got my hopes up. We would talk for hours late at the evening. He would always touch me. He admitted he wanted to kiss me. He said I was the only one I made him happy. He wanted to go out, I had invited him at my house but he disappeared. He asked me to be together, and to go steady but I refused because he was going too quickly.
So after 2 months of this even closer and intimate contact he got back together with his girlfriend. I had always been clinged to him, I had always liked him. So after that I decided to stop going to that gym(November 2011). This hurt a lot, crying for months. But since I did not see him, we did not talk, my whole love faded away. This is the T.guy.
Then on January 2012 met a boy, named J. with whom I had a relationship for 2 years till April 2014. It was not something special, I just liked him and we were cute together and I had a good time with him. Until the problems started, (jealousy and all these). Everything was awful in my relationship, I had fallen out of love, we not trying enough, there a teacher pushing me to break up who affected me a lot. So that person T., out of sudden sent me a message and he was quite flirty. He sent it on 2 in the midnight. We started talking again, he was going too far, he invited me to sleep at his home. He told me to go out, he told me he liked me a lot. He was very very open. So I decided to break up with my current boyfriend, the J. He was happy to know about it, he kept being so flirtatious. One Saturday, he said “Tomorrow I have something to attend, if I return early, I will send you a message to meet in the evening.
And he disappeared. He would not answer. He sent 2 days later that he could not get online and he said we were gonna meet.
Later we were talking for all week but said again we would meet at the weekend. He disappeared again. I did not send. I sent on Tuesday and asked him what had gone wrong. He said “I am sorry, I am not well. I just do not want to go out and then ignore you. I do not want to hurt you.” And I told him “there is nothing specific between us that would hurt me. I hope you have a great time in your life” And then he said “kisses” and I replied “I would prefer “you too”" and then he said ” I am sorry, we are not gonna talk again? let’s just leave it for a while”. And I answered ” Let’s just leave it for good, I won’t bother you again. But I know why you sent the very first time.” and he said “You understood wrong. I just wanted to see how you are”
Anyway and we stopped talking at that point. It has been two weeks, we have not talked, I have not sent. But deeply I know he wanted me, he maybe did not want to have a relationship, just an onenightstand. But that could be what I wanted to. I just wanted to do something with him so he would not be an unrequited love. I miss him a lot, I cannot study. I am thinking of him all the time. everybody says he is the wrong person, and I bet he is. But some inner forces make me be with him all the time. All I think about is the next time we will talk, I always check my inbox to see if he contacts. I cannot go on like that. I need a closure. I need him.
I just want to talk to him again, I want to be with the T. guy after so many years we deserve a relationship I think.
