To tell or not to tell?

0

4 years ago, I met this amazing girl whom I quickly developed a crush for. We had a rather crummy way of meeting, but eventually we became friends. A whole series of unfortunate events occurred over the year, with heartaches, laughter, tears, and some traumatizing moments, but she and I became best friends within the year. At this point, my crush for her went from affection to a strong sense of infatuation. I could not get her out of my mind, as hard as I tried. On her birthday that year, she met her most current bf. I was heart broken, and I wanted to die.

3 years later, things have not changed a bit. My feelings however did, and instead of ceasing to nothing, it grew stronger. Just recently, my crush’s bf broke up with her, and genuinely I feel extremely bad. She’s hurt, and I’m doing my best to help her as much as I can as a best friend would. She misses him greatly, and I can see it that it was something meant to be – like something out of a fairy tale. Seeing her hurt from the person she loved, I want them to get back together (because she’s my best friend, and I want her to be happy).

BUT I want to tell her how I feel; Im afraid it’ll ruin things. I’m the only one
who knows about the bad breakup, and I’ve been there since it started. I want to make her happy by comforting her, and trying to get them back together again, but I feel like I’m in love with her, even after 4 years of our best-friendship.
What should I do?

Im sorry that this is a little long, but I don’t know who else to turn to.

Category: Tags: asked June 19, 2014

3 Answers

2
accepted
Honestly, you should just tell her. I know how entirely horrible the idea of destroying that friendship can be. But otherwise the feeling of this is just weighing you down. Don't do it if she is as hurt as you say because it is possible that she will make an decision out of hurt, not reason. For the time being, be the good friend you are. Be her rock. And when you tell her prepare for any outcome. If she doesn't reciprocate your feelings that is on her, and if you want, make it clear that you want to still be friends. But don't coddle her, everyone eventually sees who is really there for them
2
Give her some time to recover from the break up, you will see her slowly return to her old self. Then, when you feel it's the right time, tell her how you feel.
1
I believe, as her best friend, you need to serve as her rock during this rough time of her break up. Springing the news of your affection on her at this time would probably confuse her and shake her more than anything. Eventually (when the time is right), I would say tell her! Never let the fear of striking out keep you from playing the game! Best of luck!