to be or not to be?

1

we live together but he left me and our daughter to cali (we live in il) to play professional halo and to leave me so that we have space because i have made his life so much more stressful and depressing. we are both vets from the army and both met just before getting out. i got pregnant early in our realtionship and so he moved in with me and my family until we could get married. i come from a very traditional background. he bought a ring and everything but has never asked fir my hand. i think i scare hime with my ptsd episodes and disassociation episodes. i am a paranoid person and see and hear things that are not supposedly there. i am currently in treatment for these problems with the va and will be checking into a resdiency treatment center for more tedious therapy. i am suicidal and cant cope with stress at all to save my live. i am constantly in a fight or flight state of being so i dont sleep. i have lost my appitite and have to force myself to eat. i hate eating and wish to get super skinny and disappear one day but thats not why im typing aggressively right to you all. i like that i cant vent and rant without and repercussions. but yeah, so now hes in cali and i am here taking care of myself and my daughter. we are both sick too (he didnt know that until after he left) i get that its good for him to leave me because i am an overwhelming force to be reckoned with but now after my last blow up episode, he stopped noticing me and stopped asking how i am he seems disintered in me when hes never been like that before. he only asks about our daughter and thats it. he doesnt include me in the kisses anymore at night nor does he tell me that he love me. i confronted him on my concerns and he stated that he “needs to protect himself”i have apologized until i want blue in the fingers for texting him so muchbut no response. i feel like hes had enough of me and will leave me. i want to get better for our family so that we can be a normal functioning family but now i feel like giving up. my daughter is the only thing keeping me going right now.im just my life has never been lower.lost and need some unbiased third party thoughts about this hole that im in.

Category: Tags: asked July 19, 2015

1 Answer

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How your feeling is not your fault and I think it is great that you are seeking help. I wonder how you feel about this man? Do you love him, is he a positive influence in your life? Would you still be together if the pregancy hadn't happened?
They are tough questions to answer but the truth is that nobody benefits in a loveless marriage. Having a child is not a good enough reason to stay romantically together no matter what your relations or anyone else says.
It sounds like you and the father of your child really need to focus on yourselves right now in order to heal. Focussing too on the wellbeing of your child and making positive decisions which will benefit her future.
I hope things start getting better for you soon and that you find the treatment centre beneficial.