I cant believe I am actually putting this out there, but I feel very comfortable talking on this site. Even though I am extremely good with other peoples problems and giving objective advice, I can translate that advice to my own situation and circumstances I find myself in. I was diagnosed with type I Diabetes in 2005, and after years of drug abuse and damage from it, I had a few complications. I lost all my toes on my right foot, and 3 months later, while in jail, i shattered my hip and had to have it replaced. I have low blood pressure and neuropathy. But the thing that really gets me down is the fact that I had to have all my teeth removed due to an infection. I became homeless and lost everything: family, friends, money, security, health, and my self esteem along the way. its been 3 years clean actually and Ive been doing good, even though the road back to rightousness has been tough. And Im finally in a place where I feel like I can get back into the world of dating and hopelfully find a companion and close friend to confide with and be close to. Everyday I go to my physical therapy and pain managment clinic, and see the most beautiful women, some with boyfriends and it makes me yearn for that closeness agian. But without the ability to smile and laugh and not look like a fuck up, I feel like I cant be myself. I feel like no matter how great of a guy I know I am, all girls and people in general are gonna see is my shortcummings, especially my teeth and weakened physical state. Before I got diagnosed I was a handsome, charasmatic, vibrant young man, and still am, but have beaten myself into a corner of self doubt. I wish I could believe people when they tell me that girls dont really care about it, cause to me I know that you have to have an attraction that initially gets you interested in someone, and I just think that girls will like me but not wanna ever pursue an intimate relationship cause of all this. It doesnt help that I cant work anymore and am still struggling for a stable living enviroment> I take care of my mother who is crippled and we live in a motel right now. Its crazy, I feel like I have no hope is this department…. Im always hoping to find someone who can love me for me but its so embaresing. I know I am what most gurls dream of as an ideal guy. Im smart, articulate, charming, witty, caring, protective….but cant get out from under this curse. And I just got replacement teeth that look horrible and are too big for my mouth, so I dont even wear them cause I’m honestly better off without them and keeping my natural affect…. Im really in need of some feedback from women or guys who have been in a similar situation cause im running empty on motivation….. Thanks to all for listening
