Questioning my relationship & my sexuality

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I’ve been dating W for over a yr. now. We’ve gone through some bad times (like every other couple) but I always feel myself thinking negatively of him in the back of my mind. Honestly, i feel like I have given him too many chances despite him always trying his best to make up for it. I believe he is a genuine person and we are a lot alike. However, I just haven’t been feeling it with him lately. I don’t get any romantic feelings, kissing him feels like a chore, having sex with him is sometimes alright but most of the time I feel myself wishing I was doing something else with him. He’s REALLY into me but lately I think of him as a friend more than anything else. I’m fairly young. I’m seventeen and I’ve been thinking about what I want to do for myself in the future and what I want would be difficult to have if I kept dating W. Now that i type all this out it seems fairly obvious what I should do about my boyfriend but I’m also incredibly confused about my sexuality. I haven’t liked a boy since the 5th grade and have been looking at girls ever since, more often now than ever before. I feel like I’m in denial about coming out because I have a difficult time being romantically and sexually attracted to people (I am already out as asexual). How should I tell my boyfriend that I just don’t want to be with him as well as come to terms with my sexuality? Are there any lesbians/asexual lesbians who could give me some advice?? Thanks

Category: Tags: asked November 14, 2014

3 Answers

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My first thought is talk to your boyfriend about how you feel, don't necessarily break up with him. Communication is key. The worst thing is to have a breakup come out of nowhere without knowing the other person was feeling the way they do. But if you're not feeling it after talking about it, don't drag it on. It'll just hurt both of you more. If you're not sure about your sexuality, you don't have to announce one way or the other. Just let yourself live and if you meet someone you have feelings for, you like them. You don't have to pick a gender, just a person.
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When it comes to sexuality, it will take some time for you to really know what you are. I know it took me 4-5 years to come to terms with me being Pansexual. So just take some time to think over what you would want in life.As for your boyfriend, just speak how you feel. Let him know what's going on and maybe he can come to terms with it and you can both work something out.
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It's a given that you need to break up with your boyfriend. You kinda knew that anyway. As for your sexuality, you might not ever have a name for who you like but that's okay. Your sexuality doesn't need a title. Just like who you like and be done with it.