I’m 27 years old. I believe in taking care of myself and a balanced diet and rigorous exercise routine. I have all the characteristics of a human being: blood, flesh, skin, hair; but not a single, clear, identifiable emotion, except for greed and disgust.
It’s like there is an idea of me; some kind of abstraction. But there is no *REAL* me: only an entity, something illusory. And though I can hide my cold gaze, and you can shake my hand and feel flesh gripping yours and maybe you can even sense our lifestyles are probably comparable… I simply am not there.
You aren't suppose to figure out who you are from day to night. It takes years. I'm 20 and I still don't know, just like you're 27 and don't know either. What you have to do is ask yourself, always wonder things, like "what does keep me motivated? What do I want from my life? What are the things I like to do?" this small things start defining you even if you don't realise it.
I guess you feel kinda lost and not belonging to a certain place, but don't worry, it's perfectly normal.
I take Xanax regularly, I have a prescription. But... my pain is still constant and sharp and I do not hope for a better world for anyone.
In fact I want my pain to be inflicted on others.But even after admitting this - and I have, believe me, countless times, in just about every act I’ve committed - there is no catharsis.I gain no deeper knowledge about myself, no new understanding can be extracted from my telling. There has been no reason for me to tell you any of this.This confession has meant nothing ….
It takes a long time to be able to discover who you really are, try asking yourself "What do I really like to do?" "What haven't I done in a while that I want to do or get back too?" Is it traveling? Art? Music? Hanging out with friends? Anything, sometimes that helps you discover who you are.