Need help to understand and make sense of things..

I have something i've been doing, its a spiritual ceremony that brings you to your true self, it has saved manymany people. pm me and we can talk further. it has saved manymany lives, and brings you to ONLY wanting and only accepting the best in your life. you create your future, its in your hands, and this shows you how to do it!! pm me if interested i can find you a good trustworthy group in your area. c:

I've never dealt or had friends that have dealt with something like this. But, I know that sometimes when I'm feeling anxious or like shit, I need someone to play sounding board. Someone that won't judge me, or hell doesn't even know me, someone that will listen to me rant and rave or even talk about things that don't even relate. It helps me calm down at least a little, just enough that I can go on with my life and figure things out a little. I can't promise to be on all the time, but if you want, feel free to message me. I can be your sounding board. There are plenty of others on this site that are more than willing to do the same. Hopefully they will post here too and let you know. And to quote a cliche but true statement "It does get better." I hope this makes you feel at least a little better, even if it's just for a moment.

You pretty much have social anxiety. I believe that you need to find someone you can speak to and trust so you can get back into being comfortable in public. Find anyome to talk yo, even the people on this site could be really helpful.

@AkGibson Thank you so much for your reply, it means a lot.

Thank you DewDrops, yea I have anxiety most times but I'm also dealing with a lot of flash back memories as well which is why I've been told I've got PTSD. I got raped in early May this year by my sister inlaw best friend whom I used to call my brother before this had happened, this has triggered my past coming back, the memories of my 1 month and 4 days old son, who passed away in 25/04/07 and the main trigger is the old rape, from my mum ex boyfriend, who had raped me for 10 years of my childhood.

The statements that really stick out to me are "I feel like I'm dealing with this on my own" and "I feel like I don't have any support." Why is that? Do you feel uncomfortable talking about it with your family or friends? Do you feel alone and as if nobody understands what you are feeling? Is it shame? You should know that what you are feeling is totally normal for someone who has gone through what you have. DON'T feel guilty or shameful for expressing your thoughts about it. You need to let your emotions out. Whether it be to your mom, dad, friends, siblings, a therapist even here on this website, it will definitely help you sort out your feelings and thoughts. If you feel like things only get worse when you talk about them, then maybe you just need time to yourself, and that is okay to. You should cater to your needs for a while. Find things that make you happy and feel relaxed and let your mind be free of the mess of thoughts that race through it. Eventually you will feel more comfortable with talking about your past. Just don't fall victim to what has happened and stay strong. <3

You mentioned you have a relationship? If he or she is truly good for you, they will understand whats going on, Try talking to them. Also, if you'll notice, on the little toolbar above this, there are several catagories. I suggest clicking on the therapists button. They are trained professionals and can truly help. Don't give up.

Thank you Shannon for that, that really helps, to answer all your questions, yes I'm ashamed, angry and confused about it for happening and the reason I feel alone is because my mum is gone over seas and my partner isn't here, mainly what really is hurting is that I know deep down inside me, my partner doesn't support me with this. but I don't know anymore...I've gone out to seek extra help, counselling, doctors and now I've got a support worker, which all of whom have gone on holiday. My families and friends have their own families to be with, and I don't want to be selfish and pull them away from their families, hence why i said i'm feeling alone.

Thank you Ramona :)

Thank you Jane, I will PM you now