I’ve had Anorexia in the past, but now (after two years of convincing myself I’d “recovered” just because I’d put on weight,) I still have the same feeling of penetrating shame whenever I eat more than 500 calories a day. But since I moved to a new city, away from all my friends and with my family who I can’t stand (and feel major anxiety when I’m around them,) I’ve never felt more lonely. I comfort ate at first, then it escalated into binge eating. Though this isn’t the first time I’ve ever done this. When I was anorexic I had that binge eating subtype (I’d do this once a week while severely restricting the rest of the week) so I’m aware that this is an obvious source of comfort for me. Yet being a normal weight and binge eating again, I’ve just become more and more depressed since I’ve put on over 10lb. I have days where I restrict and then days when I binge. So instead of losing weight I’ve been maintaining it, at the most I’ve lost a couple of pounds – I don’t really know though, I haven’t weighed myself since November because I know I’ll cry. And I know that exercise helps, since I used to run every day despite being too thin, but I’ve had a problem with my hip and my knees for the past year which even the doctors can’t seem to diagnose. It hurts too much doing anything. If anyone is experienced with this, or better, has overcome bingeing, how can I redirect myself to other methods of coping and stop this bingeing?
thanks!
