My older sister came to visit. Which is great, but at the moment we’re having our house renovated. My room and my siblings room got the floor replaced and the rooms painted. Right now we are in the midst of putting our belongings back in place. I was organizing some things inside some boxes and I came across some old journals that I wrote during my sophomore and junior year of high school. My sister was in the room with me and she took one of them and started reading the first page out loud. Panicking, I quickly snatched the journal saying,”don’t read that!” She got defensive replying with,”why?, you shouldn’t be embarrassed about whatever happened because it happened along time ago.”
I also found a fat book that I never finished and she started flipping through it while I was cleaning my room some more. I stopped to look at the old drawings I made, thinking that I was a terrible artist. She then came across another journal excerpt that I guess I wrote for some reason. When she started to read it I panicked once more and took it from her saying again,”don’t read that!”
She asks me very defensively,”why?”
Me:” I don’t want you to read it.”
My sis:”why?, will it make me not like you anymore?”
Me:”no, I just don’t want you to read it.”
My sis:”do you not trust me?”
Me:”no, I do trust you it’s just that I’m not comfortable reading it.”
My sis:”this happened along time ago, I don’t see why you have a problem with it.”
Me:”will you please respect that I’m not comefortable with it?”
My sister just gives me a look of why?
Me:”Why do you want to read it anyway?”
My sis:”because it’s your thoughts and I never get to hear or read your thoughts, it lets me get to know you more.”
I sigh,”Do you really want to read it that badly?”
“Yes.”, she replies
I hand her the fat book and let her read the journal excerpt.When she gets finished, she scoffs,”This was over something silly.”
I don’t say anything, she tells me,”You know I would let you read my journal.”
I don’t say anything for awhile, then we talk about other stuff.
Am I acting like a child for feeling this way?
Should I have let her read something from my journal?
I just feel ashamed that I didn’t let her because I feel like I can’t trust her or anyone to read my journals.
It’s just these are my thoughts and I shouldn’t feel obligated to share them if I don’t want to.
Any help?
