My relationship is boring! HELP!

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I have been with this guy for 2 years. We are both 20 years old. We both work full time jobs and we mostly see each other during lunch and at night when the day is over. Sadly, we don’t go clubbing or partying like we used to. Something you think a typical young adult would do but apparently that’s not us. We both don’t really have any friends. LOL I’m trying to find another couple so that way we can double date but the only one I know, my boyfriend doesn’t like because he says the guy acts like he likes me. Lately, we haven’t been talking because it seems as if there isn’t much to talk about anymore. We haven’t had sex in a long time. (5 months ago) I feel as if our lives are just a constant cycle that doesn’t stop. We do have the same off days and that’s the only time when the cycle break because one day we spend relaxing and being lazy then the other we try to spend as much time as possible together but then the next day it starts all over again. Can you help me change it back into a exciting relationship? I’m getting tired of this routine and need help into making my life interesting again!

Category: asked August 31, 2014

3 Answers

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accepted
Hello,

Have you had a serious talk with your boyfriend about all this? Does he realize how you feel about it all? If not I would do that first just to be sure you are on the same page.

If you want to spice things up then I would suggest taking something up together. Something you are both mutually interested in as a hobby. It could be learning an instrument... dancing, camping, or out doors stuff, sports and so on.

Double dates are alright if you're into that but realize that it puts stress on some people to "perform" and they cannot be themselves.

As for sex... well no one should have to do this but you may even enjoy it... go out and buy some lingerie or a sexy costume... do yourself all up and see if he can even resist you! Or drag him to the adult store with you!

You could also make a list together... sort of a bucket list of things to do... or a new years resolution list. Then commit to doing at least one thing on the list each week or month.

I saw Jess mentioned counseling and sure.. if it gets to that point... but I think you have plenty of things to try on your own first.
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The double dating thing is a really good idea. You could also try setting a 'date night'- one night a week that you always go out on together to make sure you always spend time out together. You don't have to call it that if it sounds lame or too 'relationship-counseling', but the concept could work for you. Even if you're tired, it doesn't have to be going out-out. It can be going to a movie, or staying at home and watching a movie together. You can try meet-up groups in your area, like on meetup.com, you might find another couple, or a whole group of people and couples you get along with. The only thing you have to lose is a couple of hours, but you have a lot to gain, so don't take that option off the table straight away. A lot of people in those groups are in similar situations, want to find people with the same hobbies, or are new to the area. Clubbing can often be a dead end when it comes to meeting new people, so don't feel like it's something that you have to or should be doing. As for having nothing to talk about, you need to find your own hobbies without your partner, so that you can go back and talk to them about it. The same goes for them. If you do everything together, you can reflect on it a bit, but you both know exactly what happened and there's only so much to talk about. So expand your interests and hobbies, and encourage him to do the same, while also trying new things together. It's about that balance. I hope this helps. x
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If you guys don't live together, you should try spending nights together, you'll have more time together, you could do morning things together.