Two weeks ago, one of my closest friends had gotten into a car accident. She is in the hospital with an induced coma. I also happened to lose my journal. And as silly that sounds with what my friend is dealing with, I’ve had that journal for 3 years now. It has my drawings, photographs, my ideas, my plans, and just regular journal thoughts in it. And it feels like I’ve sort of lost some of myself. I’m still capable of keeping my emotions in check. But, it’s just this thing gnawing at my stomach. Lately, I’ve needed people to talk to. My friend in the hospital is usually who I go to and I felt sort of lost. So I chose to go to a friend that I typically help with her personal problems.
When I talk to her, I feel like she’s dodging all the things I talk about to tell me about her problems. I still do help her, but I feel like when I go to her to talk about what I’m dealing with, it’s still about her. And, today she practically tried to make a contest out of who has it worse. I don’t feel comfortable talking with her any more?
