My father is such a jerk! How can I deal with him?
Hello! I’m an 18 year old lady and I’m in the last year of my high school. Okay, I know that I should move out from my house because my father is such a jerk but I really can’t bc he’s so strict on me. Here are the problems: -His attitude is getting worse everyday. He is so manipulative, narcissistic, strict, judgmental and arrogant man. -He used to hit me, my mom and even my brother who was 3 y/o then. He even gave my mom a black eye. He even hit my poor head on the wall when I was in 3rd grade. He also even told his mom to go eff herself. -Until now, he’s so abusive but not physically. He abuses us emotionally, verbally and mentally. He always curses whenever there is a problem in our house like chores etc. He sometimes throws things when he’s angry. He even threatens my brother to be hit when he can’t do multitasking. -He is so lazy and complaining a lot. Yeah he works part time but he just cares about himself. My mom has two jobs and pays for everything. One time when my brother was sick, he complained that he couldn’t sleep last night bc of my brother was coughing all night. -He always addresses our flaws. He always tells us that he knows everything about this world and judges people who are less better than him. -He always backsstabs my mom and saying that she’s a cheater, she’s a horrible mom, she is no good for family yet he is the truly one. -He cheats a lot on my mom. I even have siblings outside our family. -He always commands us to do chores. He treats us like slaves. He doesn’t give us extra time to study or do our own thing. Then if I fail the exam, he even blames me for that.
There’s a lot of bad things but I just keep trying my best to forget those. Because of this attitudes, I’ve been having difficulties to trust men. I have developed on my mind that my future husband would be like him. My two brothers have been like him. It’s like their attitudes are copied from my dad. Do you think I could cope with these craps and BS? What should I do? Thanks so much in advance!
Hello, it sure is a difficult situation. If there are any possibilities, the best way to deal with this would be reporting him to someone like police, or some family wellfare organizations, any authority that handles these situations. I don't know for sure, but you can also sue him for emotional and physical pain that he has given you.Thats all I can think of right now. Hope thing will get better. Keep fighting!
Like Flag bearer said, definitely report him if you can. Then you don't even have to move out, because he'd probably have to leave. The way he treats you and the rest of your family is NOT OKAY. And it's illegal.If for some reason you can't get him out, then lay low until you finish high school and move out as soon as possible! This is not a safe situation, and you need to get away from him. Talk to a school counselor, because they are legally bound to report those types of situations, and maybe they could give you some good advice too!
I used to go through the same thing. Something that I would do when my dad would get unbearable is go to the library. It would prevent a fight from happening and it would calm me down. If you don't like the library than maybe Starbucks?
You should not stay in this toxic household. If you're in the US, unfortunately child protective services can't help because you're legally an adult. But if you want to go as far as reporting him to the police for abuse charges, then you should. Going to the police can help anyways, they can assign you to a counselor to find what's best for you, and how to help your situation, and find a better place for you (and your family) to live.