My boyfriend still doesn’t love me!

@sophie91

Many people can relate to what your boyfriend is going through. He has loved and lost and hasn't gotten over this connection he had. What has been damage is his trust not necessarily his love. Trust is hard to build up and so easily lost. If you want to stick with this person and "fix" their trust you can but there is no saying how long it may take. You will also have to be sure to not do anything that might damage the trust you are building.

Now there are some comments here that talk about what you are entitled to and it is true that you don't owe this person anything. There is a serious misconception in the world that we give our love so that we will be loved in return and this just isn't how love works. Consider the simple example of mother and child. When a newborn baby arrives... it is totally incapable of what we can perceive as declarations of love. In fact if an adult acted like a baby we would consider them repulsive. They cry and wake us up in the middle of the night. They make a mess of everything and do nothing for us in return. Yet we love them... widly! And we don't demand that they love us in return... it isn't... i'll love and take care of you now but when you get older you better love me in return!

Try thinking of loving someone because they are lovable. Love them because it brings you happiness to make others happy. When you do this your heart will be so strong that it can never be broken. You will also to love openly and freely... not "if I give all I might lose all."

I'm also going to tell a story about love and the "amount of time" it takes to "fall in love" because it is another misconception. Like the mother and child... when that baby is there... it takes no time at all to form that bond. Anyway there is a really compelling story that was told by a man when I studied philosophy that illuminates this. I will tell the story in the third person so it makes the most sense.

A lady came to me a number of years ago and she was about to get married. Doubts arose in her mind about marrying this man. She had this believe that love had a beginning and she was concerned about it having an end. I told her that this wasn't true that love had no beginning and no end and she didn't believe me. So I asked her, "when did you start to love this man?" If it had a beginning it must have had a start sometime... sometime in history. She was unable to answer the question exactly. So we worked to narrow it down.

Did you love him at Easter? She replied she definitely loved him at Easter. What about Christmas did you love him at Christmas? She replied, "Yes I remember now, great present loved him dearly. I bought him a present as well and there was love in my heart for him then." Eventually we narrowed the month down to October. So then I asked her which day in October? Unable to say we choose the date October the 16th. So on October the 16th you fell in love with this man. Okay now what time? Unable to answer we made up a time... lets say 6PM. So on October the 16th at 6PM you fell in love with this man. Now are you saying to me that on October the 16th at 5:59PM you didn't love this man? What she admitted was that at 6PM October the 16th she realized that she loved this man. She woke up to the love that was already there. This is what happens. You either wake up to the existence of love or you fall asleep to it.

What I would want for you to take away from this story is that this man already loves you and it is the bond of trust that is broken. Trust is very important and you cannot having a meaningful relationship without it but when you realize this it maybe easier for you to work on the relationship.

I hope this helps.

Unpopular opinion time: What's the point of being in a relationship if both parties don't love each other? Sure, it's not a commitment as serious as marriage, but it's a commitment nonetheless. I understand that when someone gets burned in a past relationship, it takes time to heal. However, if the person is still feeling fallout, it's irresponsible to start a relationship without sorting through their own issues first.

It could work out, but don't feel like you have to stick around if you're not getting the love you expect.

I think if you care about one another and have a great connection, it's always good to keep in mind that love that lasts is built over time.Otherwise, don't be a placeholder girlfriend. If you don't feel loved, find someone who will.

6 months isn't a long time, so be patient. Some people need more time to open up :)

Give it time. like Ja says, if you dont feel loved, or even if you dont feel you can be loved, then dont stay. find someone who will make you feel loved

Of course there's a chance of him being in love with you. He did choose/agree to be with YOU. That's fine if he needs some time to heal, but it shouldn't be standing in the way of the relationship. Also, I'm not saying he's untrustworthy but make sure he is actually over her. No texts, pictures, etc. when they were together. When a person is feeling down it's always best to be there to comfort and care for them. Show him love and compassion and you guys will be fine.

Love is a word that can get thrown around without much meaning behind it. Six months isn't a long time, so I think you should be patient. If he truly loves you, he'll be showing you more than he says it anyway.

Hmm what I'm about to say may not be very well received, but the question I have is why would he agree to be with you if he doesn't love you? And the two possibilities that come to mind are
1. He actually wants to try to be with you or
2. He's using you as rebound.

I think the two of you need to seriously talk it out, and be objective (or as objective as you can) about it. NO ONE deserves to be treated as rebound, especially since you do love him. This could cause some serious hurt if it drags out even longer.

The best relationship advice I've ever received, as harsh as it may sound, is "don't settle". Everyone deserves to be loved.
Of course, if it turns out he genuinely wants to try to work things out with you, give it a go, but take caution not to put too much into the relationship until he feels ready so that you don't get hurt unnecessarily.
All the best sweetheart :)

No offense but I think ur question is a little childish. Feelings like love arnt really supposed to happen that fast. I mean it's great if u love him after 6 months, but real love that lasts takes time. It's not a over night thing. I'm not saying that u don't truly love him. I'm just saying that alot of people arnt lightweights if u want there love it takes TIME. and to leave before it gets to that point is kinda ridiculous. Love is so quick to happen nowadays but it never seems to last, I think that's because people don't let it TAKE IT'S TIME.

Guys have a different way of showing emotions. While girls tend to be very affectionate and showy about their feelings for their partner, guys usually express theirs silently. In your case, he admittedly said he still doesn't love you but wants the relationship to push through. I think what he's doing is letting time pass and then he'll reassess his feelings for you. He is still unsure, meaning that even though you've shared a significant amount of time you together, the possibility of him still not loving you is likely. The only one benefitting in this relationship is him. Once he realizes he doesn't and may never even love you, what do you think will happen? A relationship will not work of only one party wants it to. At least save yourself from being hurt further.

He was badly hurt in the past by his ex, and he's still trying to recover and it's hard being like that. Give it some time sweetie!!! He does love you, but it's hard. It'll get better, believe me!!!