Well, I was extremely close with this girl that we used to talk to each other day and night and were just really into each other. She was someone I wanted to be with and she wanted to be with me too. But for the past few months things took a complete 180 and she distanced herself and was just very crude to me. And I always did my best to bring the relationship back but it never worked, and she just ended up being a really terrible person to me. We’ve just been arguing back and forth and today just before I started writing this it finally ended for good, and I’m happy she’s gone since she just was negative a lot. But if I’m so happy, why do I feel so empty inside? I guess I just feel lonely because I don’t have anyone now. A part of me is happy she’s gone, but another part just feels really awful. I just feel really sick to my stomach about it all. Thanks for hearing me out.
It's extremely difficult for a lot of people to cut toxic friends/family out of their lives. If she made you feel bad about yourself or just crappy in general, you did the right thing by distancing yourself from her. That's something most people can't do. You may feel empty or disappointed inside because of the person she was before and how you may miss when you two were that close. It's important to remember that you should love the person, not the idea of the person. You're very brave to put a wall between you and her, and it's okay that it may take a little time letting go. Don't worry too much, try to flip the page and move forward from here.
You feel empty because a piece of your life isn't there anymore. That feeling will fade in time. It does sound like a toxic relationship so you are doing the right thing. Focus on yourself and your friends. In time, you will meet someone new, someone that will respect you and treat you right. Keep your head up. You're going to be okay.