Leaving my “job”?

Sorry this is going to be long! I’ve been working in a lab for the last 2 and a half years. I was invited to be there because the professor who runs the lab (Dr. R) was interested in research in music cognition, and I have a degree in music. At first everything was great there. But in the last year Dr. R gave me a project to do that’s basically impossible to do right now because of the lack of research on the subject of music cognition. I’ve been struggling for the past year trying to get it done, trying to get help.

I’ve been frustrated for a while because I haven’t really made friends in the lab, which has resulted in me being excluded from everything. Everyone’s names are on a white board with the projects their currently working on. Not mine. The lab has a website with Everyone’s picture and bio. Not mine. I’ll get forwarded messages that were already sent to everyone else, but they forgot to include me. And lately I’m not included in any emails about the weekly meetings they have. I asked the lab manager about being included on the website. Didn’t happen. When I email the professor to see if I can meet up to ask questions, or to get his help, I get no response.

At this point I’ve realized he doesn’t have a good grasp of the field of music cognition. I met with a professor at the top of this field in Canada this summer (Dr. Z). Before I left, Dr. R made it sound like they knew each other and went to school together, but when I asked Dr. Z, he had no idea who I was talking about. So, he clearly over exaggerated their acquaintance. Dr. R also mentioned that he tried to email Dr. Z about being a second author on a study he was doing about music, but he never got a response from Dr. Z. So I think that’s a pretty good indication that he’s not “in the loop” when the professor at the top of this field won’t give you the time of day. I feel like I can still make it into the field without Dr. R’s help, because others have done it before and he’s obviously not in the right circles. I’ve decided to leave the lab for these reasons, but mostly because he gave me a project which he won’t even help me complete! I’m totally stuck and I’m being ignored!

Again, I tried to email him about meeting to discuss my plan to leave the lab and I haven’t gotten an answer. So rather than wait to see him in person, I’ve decided to just explain my situation in an email. Basically my family situation has changed, and I’m having lots of medical issues that haven’t been diagnosed which is all affecting me financially and I need to make money. I used to be paid to be at the lab, but grant money ran out, whatever, I’m not getting paid anymore. I’m just not sure how to address all of this in an email. What should I say?

Tags: Leaving misfit quitting what do I say? work problems asked November 20, 2013

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1,447

5 Answers

3 accepted

The first thing I would want to consider, especially if you want to continue working in research and/or higher ed, is this question: "How do I want this experience to benefit my future career?"

Sometimes in grant-funded positions, the grant money is secured and then there is no oversight. It sounds like that's what's happening in your situation. The lab secured the money, and they used a portion of it for "whatever," and maybe part of the deal was that they had to hire someone for the duration of the project.

I see some positives here. First, you were hired for a grant-funded position. That's great for your resume. Second, you have the ability to leave. That's great for your future.

I'd recommend keeping Dr. R.'s name in the background. Since Dr. Z. wasn't familiar with him, it may be that Dr. R. is someone who is not respected in the field you're interested in.

Do you have access to a career center/placement center at the college where you earned your bachelor's or master's degree(s)? (Most colleges still help their alumni with resumes and job searches.) Talk with a career counselor about this experience and how you can put a good spin on it. Even if you know nothing about music cognition and learned nothing in this job, it's still pretty impressive that you were hired for a grant-funded research project in the field. Don't sell yourself short on that point.

Finally, I see a serious breach of responsibility here on the part of Dr. R. His oversight of this project is lacking. If your university is unionized, your first step is to go to your union rep and discuss the mistreatment you've experienced, the things that are keeping you from doing your job. If you're not union, the people above Dr. R., whether they be department chairs or deans or VPs or even human resources at the university, may be interested in knowing about how your grant-funded position was handled and how you were tacitly excluded from work. Human Resources is another avenue, since you were pretty much disabled from doing your job. I'd caution you here on this point: in higher ed, it's dog-eat-dog, and confiding in the wrong person can be a mistake that can follow you for years. But handled in the right way, a serious situation like this one can be brought to the attention of the people whose job it is to manage funding. If you're so inclined, you might even seek out a free consultation with an attorney who specializes in higher education employment law.

Regarding how to leave the job, always write a letter, keep a copy, give two weeks -- that way nobody can accuse you of bailing, something that is not cool in professional career building.

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Tru3

"Due to uncontrollable and unforeseen complications I must resign from working"
Sounds tough man, certainly cruel. That kinda outcasting is just messed up. I don't think they even deserve warning if you walk out, they've clearly shown how little they think of you through not emailing you or telling you about meetings and whatnot. Leave and be done with them, find something better for your time.

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AngelM

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You have taken this journey as far as you can without any help. Give him your resignation in writing with a 2 week notice and move on with your life. You have spent too much time there to not add it to your resume. I am so sorry this happened to you. Some people are just so self absorbed that they cannot think of anything if it doesn't benefit them. Take the high road. You won't be sorry you did.

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Broken 1

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@Tru3 Thanks for your input! It was really helpful. The thing is, this lab is part of a different university than the one I'm currently enrolled in. Dr. R also teaches at my university, but his lab is on a different campus. Right now I'm considered a "volunteer" so I don't even know if I really need to give the 2 weeks notice, especially since I have no direction. I never got any feedback on my project, there's no work that's been assigned to me that needs to be completed. I have nothing left there basically. Also, as a volunteer I don't know if I'm able to go above him to complain about his conduct. But I have a feeling I might need a letter of recommendation from him in the future, so I don't really want to get him in trouble before that happens. I'm not too concerned about future employment or finding another position. Most people who are at the same point as I am in my degree have NO lab experience and I have 2 1/2 years. During my trip to Canada I visited two labs and they were both interested in having me, so I feel like I have the experience to get into almost any lab I could want. I would definitely prefer to speak to him in person, but if he won't even choose a time that he can meet with me, I don't see the point in just showing up only to find out he's not there, or too busy, whatever. I just feel like I was used to help him do music research, until he found a more "famous" musician to help him, then he basically ignored me after that.

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1,447

V, that additional information makes a ton of sense. Get out of there, especially since other labs want you! And if he won't meet with you, and you're not even on the payroll now, there is nothing keeping you there.
It might not even be necessary to say anything about medical issues. Maybe you could just be upfront and say that since the paid position is over and you're just volunteering, you now need to look for another position that pays.

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Tru3