Is my boyfriend pulling away?

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Here it goes …

My boyfriend and I have been seeing each other for about 2 and a half months. We worked together for a while and at work he is outgoing while I cannot wait to leave. It was a bit of a suprise when he asked me out. We became official very quickly, initiated by him and he also said he loved me very quickly. We have not had sex because I am a virgin. However this week I am house-sitting for a cousin. I took this opportunity so that maybe we could become more intimate. When I took the house I did not expect him to come and stay every night. Maybe just one or two nights. Plus it would be a good place to hang out as we both live without parents. However he asked if he could stay the whole week, and on the first day (Friday) he brought over his clothes, his laptop and his phone charger (he loves his phone). We spent the Friday together just chilling and Friday night he went to bed early because he had to get up at 5.30 for work. I also had work on the Saturday but later in the day. He stayed Saturday night and we had a couple of friends over. Sunday I had to work all day again. Sunday night he stayed over but he also went to bed early because he had to take his friend to the airport Monday morning. Monday morning he woke up early and so did I because of his alarm and we joked about in bed for half an hour before he left. He came back after the drop off for 5 minutes to say he had to go back to his house to help his parents with something around the house. He would go straight to work after. His work finished at 9.30 and after he was going to a mate’s house but he said he would come back after. He calls me during his break and says that because he will be late and does not want to wake me he won’t bother coming to mine after and will just go home. No biggie, I did not expect him to stay all week and I enjoy my own company. On Tuesday he started work at 11, he did not contact me at all but again I do not find that a big deal because he was going to come after work (again finished at 9.30). Also he left his phone charger at mine and his phone would be running out of battery. Anyway he never arrives that night after work and I did text him asking if he was coming. I did not expect a response because his phone would have been out of battery (it’s an iPhone 5 and they drain power). However the fact that he wanted to and planned stay the whole week and then he does not show up and does not find a way to contact me hurt a bit. At 10.30 I call a friend a bit upset and she says he is online on Facebook. He did not say anything to me but my friend said I should ask him just casually if he was coming to mine that night, that it would not be to clingy because we are in a relationship, also he was planning to stay the night. I just say ‘Hey are you coming over tonight?’ His response is ‘hey sorry, I’m using an old phone which keeps stuffing up, nah I cant, I got a bit of a spiff with the police I have to clear up tomorrow :( ‘ So I say ‘What spiff?’ And his reply ‘ahh just a few reports of dangerous driving which I have to talk to them about, zzz’. He is a very bad driver!! At this point as much as I hate to say I was very distraught so I did not bother replying or even reading that reply until this morning, I just went to bed. Today is his last day of work for the week; he finishes early (at 5) and has the next 4 days off. All his stuff is here so he will have to come and get it. What if he makes another excuse for not staying? What does that mean? Does this sound like he is pulling away? What should I do? The reason this situation is a bit complicated is because we are ‘living together’ for a week. Normally I do not hang around for guys but I thought he would want his stuff and assumed he would be coming back the second night. Should I make my own plans this evening and say to him that I wasn’t sure if he was coming over or not. I don’t want to play games but I am not waiting around for his beck and call. Thoughts please?

P.s. On the Monday when he did come back for 5 minutes after the airport run he said text me when you get out of bed. I did but his replies were not great!! But he asked me to text him otherwise I probably wouldn’t have.

P.P.s. I have difficulty in determining the line between being a prize and not being clingy while also showing him I care.

Category: Tags: asked April 23, 2013

1 Answer

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While I don't think he is pulling away I think he is just working.He is a guy they forget to call and say "how are you" etc... But he could be pulling away because he is not ready to move in with you yet. He might think that things are going to fast. You should call him and sat up a day when you both don't work go to him if he doesn't come to you and talk to him about this. Tell him that your not trying to be clingy but you need to know what is going on. If he doesn't want to talk to about it you got another issue. Don't want for him, hang with friends and make other plains.