Ok, I’ll explain better, because I’m sure you guys will start saying “Of course not, just do what you want.”. And you’ll be right if you say so.
The point is, that I’m already in my first year of college, and even though I did change becoming a little more open towards people, I remained shy and quite (really shy). I was lucky in high school because I met wonderful people with who I would always hang out, they were funny, and they accepted me even if we were really different (I made here probably one of the best friend I’ve ever had). So, with all of my enthusiasm, I hoped to meet people like them in college. But I was wrong.
Indeed, the first days of college I met lots of people, two from my courses, and other people of other courses. But I didn’t felt that emotion that I would feel with my ex-classmates. Yeah, I know, I shouldn’t be picky if I just want to hang out with someone, but I’m a person who choose her own friends, I would hate to hang out with people just for the companionship. Even though, I started hanging out with these two girls. I thought we became sort of friends, but then a group of people popped out, and they entered this group right away. At first, I was hanging out with all of them, but soon I stopped, and prefered to be on my own. I didn’t like that group, I wasn’t feelling at ease with them, and instead of running after them just to be with someone, I started to go study or eating all alone.
I don’t mind being alone, I’m a reserved person, and it’s not the first time that I stay by myself, but I feel disappointed. I thought that I would make friends in a blink of an eye, but now everyone made their own groups, so it’s a bit embarassing for me to pop out in a group, I’m sure I would feel left out just like before. One of the two girls I met doesn’t talk to me anymore, and because they fought with the other girl, the group ignore me like I’m their enemy because she returned to me (and even though I don’t like her behaviour because she left me for them, and now that she’s alone she run to me like I’m her savior, I don’t want to let her be alone). But instead of bear all of this crap I would be alone my myself. Is it this wrong? I wanted to have friends, to hang out with them, but because I didn’t get the chance to talk to everyone at the beginning, not only I can’t pop out in a random group because of my shyness (although, I really hate groups) but I’m stuck with the girl who would only talk about her previous group, and I’ve had enaugh of these people who doesn’t treat friendship as they should. And I really care about friendship.
What do you think?
Thanks for reading everything, I know that the answer should be easy, but I need opinions, and vent out all of this make me feel better.
