Me and my friends had a big fight few weeks ago, and now we’re okay. We stay in a small group which includes 5 people (includes me too) but the thing is, I don’t feel so much fun, it’s depressing somehow, I feel like they don’t want me anymore. My bestest friend in the group doesn’t feel like my best friend anymore, they say that I don’t care about friends and I’m online too much and I’m addicted to my phone (something like that) but because I’m different from them, I selfharm, I get depress so easily and I try to ignore what people are saying bout me, I tried not to care and ended up not caring about anything, I don’t try to fix problems because I am scared I will mess up. I don’t want to go to school anymore, I always have to put up getting hurt and ignored. I tried explaining my feelings to them but they don’t understand me, even if I tell them the truth, I will always be wrong and it’s always my fault for not trying. I tried so hard to be good for other people, sometimes I want them to come to me. I’m the kind of person who breaks down most of the time, sometimes I want to suicide because I’m no good for anyone and I always mess up and without me, it would be more peaceful and I don’t have to feel anything. Yet, they don’t know I selfharm, because if they do, they would hate me. Everyone probably thinks I’m crazy, but no one understand what I’m going through
If you truly feel like this, I suggest finding a new group of friends to hang out with. Your friends are your support system and if your support system makes you feel like that, maybe they're not really your friends. If they can't try to understand from your perspective, then they're not really trying from their side. You deserve so much better. Don't let what others say get to you. You're perfect the way you are and you shouldn't let others have that control over you. The moment you stop letting that get to you, you'll be so much happier. Remember, you are your own boss. You get to choose what hurts you and what doesn't.
If you ever want someone to talk to, feel free to message me.
I strongly agree with @Yourlostlove . You definitely should get new friends, that accept you and love you for who you are, cuts and all. Don't try to force yourself into new friend groups, though. Good luck(: