I’m not sure what to do????

0

this is the story with this guy. I’m going to change his name to Brett because of privacy issues. so, “Brett” started off as this guy I would just see around school for a long time that I knew was flirty but I knew never to date him evade he was bad news and trouble. When he came to me we were close friends for a long time, until one day it became more. He was in trouble at home because he got caught with something and he wanted to make a change in his life, so I was a good girl and he wanted to bring me along the hard road with him and I didn’t mind, on my birthday he bought me a dozen roses an showed up on my doorstep with a written letter and asked me to be his official girlfriend. We did everything together and it was a normal good and healthy teenage relationship. till one day he started doing “bad”things again, smoking and drinking etc. I always told myself I wouldn’t. I was always very confident and proud of the girl I was. Slowly I started doing these things to impress him because I didn’t want him to leave me because he wanted a girl like that. So I changed into a different person who he still loved. It was then again great until he almost cheated on me. But I caught him. Long story of that short I took him back and he redeemed himself, but that weekend I went out of control. I had so many but up emotions and I trend to a bad friend and drugs. I got caught and I also ran away from home and was arrested and returned to my home. That’s not who I am. It was out of character. Charges were dropped soo was good but I was living under a rock with nothing but books for a month. Brett stayed loyal and he was there for me, till one day he got tired and turnedto the girl he almost cheated on me with, and that’s what happened. They had sex. We didn’t talk until he realized his mistake and I took him back. This cycle went on about five more time where he would mess up and me a dick to me and then I would take him back because I didn’t want him gone and I took risks hoping I would see the nice sweet guy from when we first started dating. We ended up back Together in a much more intimate relationship. sex, because I would do anything to make him happy. gain he got tired of me after two months of me giving my all to him, and he dropped me and we hated each other and then decided to become best friends till a day later he told me he wanted nothing to do with me. I don’t understand what I did wrong or what I did to deserve this. I haven’t talked to him in a week but everynight I almost call him. I don’t know what to do, I don’t want everything I did especially him taking away all my last but of innocence away for nothing. I don’t want to know everything I did just leads to me being left alone. I have friends, but not the kind of friendships that are as strong because I was always distant because of him. I’m a whole new person and I want the old me back, the confident girl who knew who she was, and now I look in the mirror and I’m not even myself. What should I do? I’ve rebuilt the trust with my parents and I’ve shown them I’m no long the “bad” rebellious teenage girl. but a part of me always wants to go back, did I do the to myself? Or did he do this to me? I just don’t know what to do at this point..

Category: Tags: asked July 28, 2014

1 Answer

3
Young lady, you need to stop "changing" to please other people, stop trying to be what you think other people want and learn to be who you want yourself to be.

You aren't going to be the perfect balance of what everyone wants and make everybody happy. You have to discern who you are, learn what kinds of traits you want yourself to have and then make them yours, and then accept that as your identity. You cannot be a good girl to make your parents happy and then be responsible to make yourself happy, but also be a bad girl to make yet someone else happy. Focus on just yourself.

When you are happy for your own sake, then that is the kind of happiness that anyone who truly cares for you wants for you and that in turn makes them happy by default. Anybody who wants you to be a thing that you are not does not have your best interest in mind; they are only thinking of themselves.

Browse around on the internet for a while, looking for "advice for teenagers", "things teenagers wish they had known", and the like. You'll find tons of advice for teens; if I tried to list them all here, 'd probably crash the site!

If you'd like to discuss this any further, my inbox is always open.