I’m loving myself, and people might hate it?

Hey there,

Body acceptance is a relatively new movement, and a lot of people don't understand it. I wouldn't take it personally that people don't get it- it is something that may give you a quiet confidence in yourself, but typically when someone's personality changes there's usually a period of extreme swings in one direction or another until it settles down.

As you probably also know, Feminism and associated things isn't something everybody can connect with. It's a huge movement with a lot of positive stuff- but there has been some pretty crazy stuff associated with it too, especially in the Second and Third waves.

You have to recognise the enormous pressure on women (and also men, but not in the same way) to behave and act in certain ways. It's possible depending on how far into this movement you have become that it looks extreme to someone outside of it. Particularly when using terms like 'patriarchy'- most people aren't aware about the theory or the changing definitions, or the research done in the past 20 years and how these ideas have changed.

There's also an element in fat acceptance that can be quite damaging- namely that a lot of people are saying it is healthy to be overweight regardless of how overweight it is. To be honest with you, medical professionals the world over would disagree that this is accurate, and there is a point where weight loss is a better long term goal for your physical health. That all completely depends on the person however so I cannot give advice to you on that.

What I will say is that it is amazing something is giving you self confidence and helping you become a happier person- just be sure that there is a balance and that you aren't crossing over too far into delusional thinking. That's the danger with any kind of group or movement centred around body image.

I hope this answer is helpful. It may not have been entirely positive about your worldview, but I hope it comes across as realistic and informed at the very least. And I'd like to just say again that it's really good that you are taking more personal agency and building up your confidence. That's the one part of all of this that is unequivocally a great thing.

Hope this helps.

maybe she just does not recognize you and then, something got broken with her relation with you.

maybe she's not ready to handle big changes, and, as you said, you changed a lot.

take a loooong breath and try to talk to her, make it all clear, but give her some space to feel lost, too. she has de right of it.

kisses!

Congratulations! I mean to succeed in such a challenging task,its so hard these days to love yourself due it all the negativity around but you really did it! Well done:) please keep it up and don't let tiny problems like "friends" put you down.Everyday when you wake up just tell yourself i will be fine,everything's fine,life is fine.Because the world is such an exciting adventure and you have yet to explore the fascinating journeys it will take you. Your friend,I think,just can't handle it.You have become a butterfly(your new self),but she is used to the caterpillar (your old self),I think the best thing to do in this situation would be to sit your best friend down and explain to her that you are still the same person,but just with a new boosted confidence.And the most important thing to tell her is,that finally after searching everywhere you have finally found it.the thing that most humans never found,HAPPINESS.You are truly happy now:) Good Luck:)

Most of the time, there are things that we don't see that our friends see... most of the times, we thought that we completely knew ourselves, but no...
These past 8 months, you've become better, you learned to love your your self and learned to dress your self the way you love it... In where this achievements you say looks good... I said "looks" good because that is what it seems to look like, but we don't really know about how other people are affected by changes of one person... It is maybe other people were offended, other people were not understanding or some didn't like your Change... Paragraph breaks:
About the people around you aren't showing any support into bettering your self... maybe there is nothing wrong with your old self... I mean like, why change if there wasn't anything wrong about your old self... another possibility about why they don't show any support is maybe, they actually do but it's either you can't see them or it is either, it isn't so visible or supporting you silently...
About if it is your fault why your best friend grew distant to you now is still unknown... but well about if you are crazy, no you are not crazy... but instead, it is like you actually lack confidence on your old self, since you said your role is the supporting role... Even though no one even asked you to be their supporting role, or even if they were people who asked you, are they your directors of your life, no there not, every role you take depends on what you think your self is, if you looked at your self as a supporting role, then you are insulting your self, you are the one who doesn't support yourself... well, about your best friend, better talk with her, but don't ask directly, just ask things and know the answer... if she avoids you, there might be something wrong, that is when you ask her straight to the point...
Being strong maybe was one of the reason, maybe your strength actually grew to big it crushes other people... or maybe about loving yourself already became an over confident attitude which is also one of the possible reason why other people aren't supporting you, or actually doesn't like you being that way..
Well, I hope I was a little help here... Well, good luck...

I used to be the fat funny friend too, but then I realized I'm so much more than just that. You are not crazy. Its ok to grow and grow apart from people. Just be you. Wear what you like, what makes you feel good. Congratulations on your beautiful journey of self love and discovery.

Some people don't like when others become better satisfied with themselves or successful in any aspect of their lives;and this is the naked truth. I'm glad for you that you haven't learnt how to live in your skin with complete acceptance,that's phenomenal. On another note,you might want to re-think about that friend of yours,where you both real good friends,or did she consider you as something else. What we think of things are not what they actually are,sometimes.

First of all, congratulations on learning to love and accept yourself, for embracing your feminist strength and sexuality. I am still so far behind in that front but it is wonderful to always see those who have achieved it.In terms of your friend(s), perhaps a think about how women might be 'conditioned' regarding our roles in society might be useful. Some theorists argue that women are brought to be 'competitive' with each other as opposed to supportive. If we are competitive (looks, desire, happiness) we cannot find solidarity to fight against injustices that impact us as the result of our assigned gender.Perhaps because you are rejecting the pressures (rightly so!) that might still completely hinder your friend is part of this, and so they feel unsure and threatened by your newfound confidence and realisation that you don't need those influences in your life, whereas perhaps your friend is still strongly attached to them. It is very hard to let go of the things we believe define us and the relationships we have with others.As others have suggested, perhaps sitting down with your friend would be helpful. Or, perhaps letting them find their own way is needed.

sometimes its hard when people grow up, because they grow and change in different way, when you bettered yourself to be how you wished, your friends didnt see you as you were before, therefore not seeing you as theyre friend like before, but thats just part if growing, people will change and separate, dont let it get to you. thats just what i think is going on, but as you grow you also make new friends that will be better fitted to you, its hard now but it gets easier, and the first step to loving someone is loving yourself. im always available if you need someone to talk to