I was in the shower thinking about what I should do with my life. It was mainly about how I’m going to live my life without a job and a home because my parents are kicking me out Sept. 9th when I had this vivid experience. My mind flashed instantly into (what I like to call) my ‘depressive/suicidal mode’ and I saw myself take my own life in a gory train suicidal ‘accident.’ I still can’t shake the thought out of my mind and I’m terrified that I’ll snap into a trance and ‘get it over with.’ I’ve been chronically depressed like this for years and I’ve already noticed with my actions I’ve already given up in life. I’m no longer eating properly, I stay up all night and sleep during the day, I haven’t looked for work in months. I know someone is going to say something along the lines of ‘Get out there and just do it.’ but with my severe condition I just have hopelessly given up.